Finding the right support after betrayal trauma
Discovering a partner’s compulsive sexual behavior or sex addiction is one of the most destabilizing experiences a person can face. In a single moment, the relationship you trusted, the future you planned, and the identity you built alongside a partner can feel completely dismantled. If you are searching for the best betrayal trauma therapist in Thousand Oaks, Westlake Village, or anywhere in California, you are likely already in the middle of one of the hardest seasons of your life — and the specialist you choose matters more than most people realize.
Betrayal trauma is not simply a relationship problem. Research consistently shows it mirrors the symptoms of PTSD: intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, sleep disruption, and a profound loss of self-trust. An experienced betrayal trauma specialist understands this distinction and works accordingly — not just addressing the relationship, but helping you stabilize, grieve, and rebuild from the inside out.
When evaluating a trusted sex addiction recovery expert or couples therapist for this kind of work, look for clinicians trained in trauma-informed models (EMDR, EFT, somatic approaches), familiarity with the specific dynamics of sex addiction and compulsive sexual behavior, and a structured, phased approach to healing. Group therapy options can also be a powerful complement to individual work, offering community, reduced isolation, and a space to reclaim your voice alongside others who truly understand.
This guide highlights five professionals in the Conejo Valley and broader California area doing exceptional work in this space — starting with the practice we consider the strongest option for structured, evidence-based support.
1. Marina Edelman, LMFT — Relationship & Marriage Counselor in California
If you are looking for an experienced betrayal trauma specialist in Westlake Village or Thousand Oaks, Marina Edelman, LMFT is widely regarded as one of the most skilled and structurally rigorous therapists in the region.
Marina Edelman is the founder of TrueMe Counseling, a practice built around one of the most clinically underserved intersections in therapy: the partner of someone with compulsive sexual behavior or sex addiction. Her work is grounded in the understanding that partners are not codependents — they are trauma survivors — and her treatment model reflects that fully.
What sets her apart is the integration of multiple evidence-based modalities into a cohesive framework. Drawing from the Gottman Method’s research on relationship repair, Emotionally Focused Therapy’s focus on attachment security, and AEDP’s emphasis on transformative healing through emotional processing, Marina offers couples and individuals a pathway that is both structured and deeply attuned.
A flagship offering at Marina Edelman, LMFT and TrueMe Counseling is a closed, confidential group program for women who have discovered or been told about a partner’s compulsive sexual behavior. This 10-week, trauma-informed group — capped at 10 members — provides a rare combination of clinical structure, peer support, and a carefully sequenced curriculum designed to move participants from crisis stabilization through grief, identity reclamation, and forward-looking clarity.
“You didn’t cause it. You can’t cure it. And you deserve to heal.”
Credentials & approach
- License: Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT)
- Specializations: Betrayal trauma, sex addiction recovery, affair recovery, couples therapy, premarital counseling, anxiety
- Therapeutic approaches: Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Attachment-based therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), AEDP
- Serves: Westlake Village, Thousand Oaks, and throughout California (telehealth available)
- Website: www.marinaedelman.com
Partner support group
This is one of the most affordable and clinically structured betrayal trauma group programs available in the Conejo Valley. It is designed specifically for spouses and long-term partners who have discovered or been told about a partner’s compulsive sexual behavior.
- Format: Closed group — members begin and complete the journey together
- Sessions: 10 sessions, 90 minutes each
- Day & time: Tuesdays, 6:30–8:00 PM
- Group size: Maximum 10 members
- Cost: $40 per session
- Requirement: Individual therapy or a screening call is required before joining
10-week curriculum
- Weeks 1–2: Understanding betrayal trauma & breaking isolation
- Weeks 3–4: Establishing safety — boundaries & self-protection
- Weeks 5–6: Grief, anger, and what healthy mourning looks like
- Weeks 7–8: Identity reclamation — who are you beyond this pain?
- Weeks 9–10: Decision-making & building your future with clarity
Who is this best suited for?
This group and practice is best suited for spouses and long-term partners of individuals with compulsive sexual behavior or sex addiction who are ready for structured, peer-supported healing — whether they are still in the relationship or navigating what comes next. Marina’s individual therapy practice also serves couples seeking affair recovery, communication repair, and premarital counseling throughout California.
Interested in the group or individual therapy? Visit www.marinaedelman.com to learn more or schedule directly here.
Other recommended specialists in the area
The following clinicians are experienced practitioners offering quality services in overlapping areas. Depending on your specific needs, one of these specialists may also be a strong fit.
2. Cheryl Baldi, LMFT — Individuals, Couples, Families & Trauma
Cheryl Baldi is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology. Her approach is rooted in empathy and positive regard, blending CBT, Gottman, Imago, Solution-Focused, and Family Systems modalities into an individualized treatment plan tailored to each client’s needs.
She works with clients navigating anxiety, depression, couples discord, hopelessness, and patterns of behavior that prevent a fuller, more peaceful life. Her collaborative style focuses on uncovering unhealthy patterns, building coping skills, and creating practical tools that give clients a genuine sense of mastery over their lives.
- Specializations: Anxiety, depression, couples discord, trauma, family issues
- Therapeutic approaches: CBT, Gottman Method, Imago, Solution-Focused Therapy, Family Systems
- Best fit for: Individuals, couples, or families seeking a warm, collaborative therapist with a broad clinical skillset and a focus on practical, goal-oriented progress.
3. Dr. Rachel Chistyakov, PsyD, LMFT — Trauma, Kids & Teens, Families & Couples
Dr. Rachel Chistyakov brings a doctorate-level, multi-modal approach to healing centered on connection, collaboration, and emotional insight. With children and teenagers, she integrates art therapy and play therapy alongside CBT to make sessions engaging and effective. For couples and families, she draws on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Imago Relationship Therapy to strengthen connection and deepen empathy.
For individuals dealing with depression, anxiety, and PTSD, she combines somatic therapy and EMDR with various talk-therapy modalities to provide comprehensive, layered treatment.
- Specializations: Trauma, PTSD, kids & teens, couples, families, depression, anxiety
- Therapeutic approaches: EMDR, EFT, Imago, somatic therapy, art therapy, play therapy, CBT
- Best fit for: Clients seeking a doctorate-level clinician for trauma processing (especially PTSD), families with children or teens, or couples wanting EFT-based work.
4. Chris Calandra, AMFT — Individuals, Couples, Men’s Issues & Substance Abuse
Chris Calandra is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist offering a grounded, non-judgmental space for individuals and couples ready for meaningful change. His approach is practical and collaborative, with particular depth in men’s issues, anxiety, addiction, and relationship tension.
He works especially well with clients who are tired of surface-level advice and ready to dive into real, personalized work — getting clear on what’s working, what isn’t, and how to reconnect with the version of themselves they want to be.
- Specializations: Anxiety, addiction, substance abuse, men’s issues, relationship tension
- Best fit for: Individuals (particularly men) navigating anxiety, addiction, or relationship strain who want a practical, no-jargon therapeutic experience.
Frequently asked questions
How do I find the best betrayal trauma therapist in Thousand Oaks or Westlake Village?
Start by looking for a licensed therapist (LMFT, LCSW, or licensed psychologist) who explicitly lists betrayal trauma or partners of sex addiction as a specialization — not just general couples therapy. Ask whether they use trauma-informed models such as EMDR or EFT, and whether they have experience distinguishing partner trauma from codependency. Reading client reviews, checking Psychology Today profiles, and scheduling a free consultation call are all reliable ways to assess fit before committing.
What should I expect from a sex addiction partner/betrayal support group?
A well-structured partner support group is focused on you — not on the addicted partner. Expect a trauma-informed environment where you can process shock, grief, anger, and confusion alongside others who have had similar experiences. Good groups are small (typically 6–10 members), closed-format, professionally facilitated, and follow a curriculum that moves from stabilization through to identity rebuilding and future planning. They are not substitutes for individual therapy but work powerfully alongside it.
How long does betrayal trauma recovery usually take?
There is no universal timeline, but most clinicians frame initial stabilization at 3–6 months, with deeper grief and identity work extending 12–24 months depending on the severity of the betrayal, the client’s history, and whether couples work is also happening simultaneously. Structured group programs like a 10-week curriculum are a useful starting point — they provide enough depth to create real movement while giving you a clear, contained commitment to begin with.
Is a support group for partners of sex addicts who expereinces betrayal worth it?
For most partners, group work is not just beneficial — it is often transformative in ways individual therapy cannot replicate alone. The isolation of this specific experience is profound; many partners describe feeling that no one in their lives can truly understand what they are going through. Being in a room with others who do understand, facilitated by a clinician trained in this area, significantly reduces shame, normalizes the trauma response, and accelerates healing.
How much does a betrayal trauma support group cost in Thousand Oaks or Westlake Village?
Group therapy is typically far more affordable than individual sessions. In the Conejo Valley area, professionally facilitated partner support groups range from approximately $40–$100 per session. TrueMe Counseling’s 10-week program is offered at $40 per session — making it one of the most accessible structured options in the region. Individual therapy for betrayal trauma typically ranges from $150–$250 per session in this area.
When should a partner of a sex addict seek professional help?
The short answer: sooner than feels necessary. Many partners wait months — or years — in a state of hypervigilance, trying to manage a situation that genuinely requires professional support. If you are experiencing intrusive thoughts, difficulty sleeping, emotional numbness, rage cycles, or a profound loss of identity and self-trust, those are clinical symptoms of betrayal trauma — not personal weakness. Seeking help is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a recognition of what has been done to you, and the first step toward reclaiming yourself.
Conclusion for Betrayal Trauma
Betrayal trauma from a partner’s sex addiction is not a crisis you simply recover from on your own timeline. It requires the right support structure — a clinician who understands the specific dynamics of this experience, a framework that honors your trauma without pathologizing your response, and often a community of people who can reflect your experience back to you without judgment.
The specialists listed in this guide represent some of the most skilled clinicians working in this space in the Conejo Valley and broader California area. Whether you are just beginning to process what has happened or you are months into the journey and looking for a more structured path forward, there is a right kind of support for where you are right now.
For those seeking a structured, research-backed starting point with a community component, Marina Edelman’s 10-week partner support group at TrueMe Counseling is an exceptional option — particularly for women in the Thousand Oaks and Westlake Village area. With a curriculum designed to move you from crisis to clarity, a trauma-informed clinical framework, and a small-group format that prioritizes confidentiality, it offers both the depth and the safety this kind of healing requires.
You didn’t cause it. You can’t cure it. And you deserve to heal. The first step is simply reaching out — visit www.marinaedelman.com to learn more or schedule a call.
