by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Mar 19, 2026 | Blog, couples, couples counseling, marriage
Best Couples Therapists in Westlake Village & Thousand Oaks
Healthy relationships require communication, trust, and emotional connection. Even strong couples can experience periods of conflict, stress, or disconnection due to life transitions, parenting pressures, financial concerns, or unresolved emotional patterns.
Working with a qualified couples therapist can help partners develop healthier communication skills, rebuild emotional intimacy, and better understand the underlying dynamics that influence their relationship.
The Westlake Village and Thousand Oaks area has several experienced therapists who specialize in couples counseling and relationship therapy. The professionals listed below represent a range of therapeutic approaches and specialties.
Relationship & Marriage Counselor
Website: www.marinaedelman.com
Psychology Today: www.psychologytoday.com/profile/70050
Instagram: www.instagram.com/marina.on.marriage
Marina Edelman, founder of TrueMe® Counseling, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years of experience working with couples, individuals, and families. Her practice focuses on helping clients build happiness, harmony, resilience, and stronger emotional connection within relationships.
She offers both in-person sessions in the Westlake Village / Thousand Oaks area as well as online therapy, allowing clients throughout California to access support.
Marina works with couples experiencing a wide range of relationship concerns, including:
-
- Interpersonal relationships
- Financial infidelity or financial stress
- Communication difficulties
- Emotional disconnection
- Intimacy concerns
- Life transitions affecting relationships
- Premarital counseling
Her clinical approach integrates several well-established evidence-based therapies.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the most widely studied approaches to couples therapy. The American Psychological Association has recognized EFT as a gold-standard evidence-based treatment for relationship distress.
Research has shown that 70–75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and approximately 90% experience meaningful improvements in relationship satisfaction.
EFT focuses on identifying emotional patterns that contribute to conflict and helping partners develop stronger emotional bonds and attachment security.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Marina also uses the Gottman Method, a research-based framework developed from more than 40 years of research with thousands of couples.
Key goals of the Gottman Method include:
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- Reducing negative communication cycles
- Increasing emotional and physical intimacy
- Addressing underlying sources of conflict
- Building empathy, trust, and mutual understanding
Couples in therapy often complete a brief online relationship assessment before beginning sessions. This helps identify specific relationship strengths and areas that may need attention, allowing therapy to be more focused and effective.
Marina also offers workshops based on the Gottman 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work, which provide couples with practical skills to strengthen communication and emotional connection.
Individual and Family Therapy
In addition to couples therapy, Marina works with individuals experiencing:
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- Anxiety
- Depression
- Career or life transitions
- Co-parenting challenges and divorce adjustment
For these concerns, she frequently incorporates Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps clients recognize unhelpful thought patterns and develop healthier coping strategies.
Her approach to therapy is collaborative and supportive, creating a space where clients can communicate openly, increase self-awareness, and work toward meaningful personal and relational growth.
2. Nicole Barkhordari, LMFT
Website: www.nicolebarkhordari.com
Nicole Barkhordari is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in relationship counseling and intimacy issues. Her practice focuses on helping couples navigate challenges related to communication, sexual compatibility, and life transitions.
Areas of focus often include:
-
- Premarital counseling
- Couples communication difficulties
- Sexual health and intimacy
- Relationship transitions and growth
Her work integrates elements of attachment theory and modern relationship psychology to help couples develop stronger emotional and physical connection.
Relationship and Stress Counseling
Website: www.amandaprincentherapy.com
Amanda Prince provides therapy for couples and individuals dealing with relationship stress, anxiety, and emotional disconnection.
Her clinical work often focuses on:
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- Couples conflict resolution
- Emotional regulation skills
- Stress management within relationships
- Improving communication patterns
She works with couples at different stages of relationships, from premarital counseling to long-term partnership challenges.
Website: www.ashleyprechtltherapy.com
Ashley Prechtl is a licensed therapist who works with couples, families, and individuals seeking to improve relational dynamics and emotional well-being.
Her therapy approach often incorporates:
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- Attachment-based therapy
- Emotional regulation techniques
- Communication skill development
- Relationship pattern awareness
Her goal is to help couples better understand their relational patterns while building healthier and more supportive partnerships.
Relationship & Family Counseling
Website: www.julienorvilastherapy.com
Julie Norvilas works with couples who want to improve emotional communication and create healthier relationship dynamics.
Her work focuses on helping couples:
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- Identify recurring relationship patterns
- Develop more effective communication strategies
- Improve emotional awareness within partnerships
She often uses collaborative therapy approaches that help partners understand how personal history and emotional experiences influence current relationship patterns.
How to Choose the Right Therapist:
Choosing a therapist is a personal decision, and the right fit can make a meaningful difference in the outcome of therapy. Many people begin their search feeling unsure about what to look for, especially when comparing different therapists or treatment approaches.
Below are five commonly recommended questions to consider when looking for a therapist.
1. What Are the Therapist’s Credentials and Training?
One of the first things to review is a therapist’s professional credentials and training. Licensed professionals such as Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs), psychologists, or licensed clinical social workers complete extensive clinical training and supervised experience before practicing independently.
Specialized certifications can also provide insight into a therapist’s expertise. For example, therapists who work with couples may have training in approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or the Gottman Method, which are widely used in relationship counseling.
2. What Therapy Approach Do They Use?
Different therapists use different clinical approaches. Some focus on structured methods that address thinking patterns and behaviors, while others emphasize emotional processing or relationship dynamics.
Examples include:
- – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – helps identify and change unhelpful thought patterns and behaviorsGottman Method — Couples Therapy – research-based techniques for improving communication and resolving conflict
- – Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – focuses on emotional connection and attachment patterns in relationships
Understanding a therapist’s approach can help clients decide whether the style aligns with their goals.
3. Do They Have Experience With Your Specific Concerns?
Therapists often specialize in certain areas, such as:
- – Relationship and marital conflict
– Anxiety and depression
- – Divorce or co-parenting concerns
- – Family dynamics or parenting challenges
- – Trauma and early life experiences
Choosing a therapist with experience in the issues you are facing can make therapy more focused and effective.
4. What Is the Therapist’s Style?
Some therapists are highly structured and goal-oriented, while others emphasize open exploration and emotional insight.
It can be helpful to ask:
A good therapeutic relationship often depends on feeling comfortable, supported, and understood.
5. Do You Feel Comfortable Talking With Them?
Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship itself is one of the strongest predictors of successful therapy outcomes. Feeling safe, heard, and respected can make it easier to discuss difficult topics and work toward meaningful change.
Many therapists offer an initial consultation or introductory session so clients can determine whether the fit feels right.
Online, In-Person, or Messaging Therapy
Over the past decade, therapy has expanded beyond traditional office visits. Many therapists now offer multiple ways to receive support, including in-person sessions, video therapy, and text-based therapy platforms.
Each format has advantages depending on a person’s schedule, comfort level, and therapeutic goals.
Traditional in-office therapy allows clients to meet face-to-face with a therapist in a private office setting.
Benefits often include:
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- Stronger nonverbal communication and body language cues
- A dedicated space for reflection away from daily distractions
- A structured environment that helps some people focus more deeply on therapy
For individuals who prefer a more personal interaction, face-to-face therapy can feel more engaging and emotionally connected.
Some research also suggests that in-person therapy may be especially helpful for complex psychological concerns that benefit from deeper interpersonal interaction.
Online therapy—sometimes called teletherapy—allows clients to meet with a therapist through secure video platforms.
This format has grown significantly in recent years because of its convenience and accessibility.
Benefits often include:
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- Attending therapy from home
- Easier scheduling for busy professionals or parents
- Access to therapists who may not be located nearby
Research has found that video-based psychotherapy can produce outcomes similar to in-person therapy for many mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression.
Online therapy can also reduce barriers such as travel time, transportation costs, or childcare challenges.
Messaging or Chat-Based Therapy
Some digital therapy platforms allow clients to communicate with therapists through text messaging or asynchronous chat.
These services are sometimes used by people who prefer a more flexible way to communicate about emotional challenges.
Potential benefits include:
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- The ability to write messages at any time
- More time to reflect before responding
- A lower barrier for people who may feel uncomfortable speaking about sensitive issues initially
However, messaging therapy may not provide the same level of real-time interaction as video or in-person therapy, which is why many clinicians recommend it as a supplement rather than a replacement for traditional sessions.
Choosing the Format That Works Best for You
Ultimately, the best therapy format depends on personal preference, lifestyle, and therapeutic goals.
Some clients prefer the structure of in-person sessions, while others appreciate the convenience of online therapy. Many therapists now offer both options, allowing clients to choose the format that feels most comfortable and supportive.
The most important factor is finding a therapist with whom you feel safe, understood, and motivated to work toward positive change.
Marina Edelman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of TrueMe® Counseling, a couples and relationship therapy practice serving clients in Westlake Village, Thousand Oaks, and throughout California.
Marina specializes in couples therapy, affair recovery, and relationship repair, drawing on a carefully integrated set of evidence-based approaches:
Her counseling is best suited for couples and individuals seeking structured, research-backed support for relationship repair, affair recovery, anxiety, communication challenges, and premarital or marriage counseling — in person or via telehealth across California.
Frequently Asked Questions
What types of relationship issues can couples therapy help with?
Couples therapy can address a wide range of concerns, including communication difficulties, emotional disconnection, intimacy issues, financial stress or financial infidelity, life transitions, and premarital counseling. A skilled therapist helps partners identify the underlying patterns driving conflict and build stronger emotional connection.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and why is it recommended for couples?
EFT is one of the most rigorously studied approaches to couples therapy and is recognized by the American Psychological Association as a gold-standard evidence-based treatment. Research shows that 70–75% of couples move from distress to recovery using this method, with approximately 90% experiencing meaningful improvements in relationship satisfaction. It works by helping partners identify emotional cycles that fuel conflict and rebuild secure attachment.
How do I choose the right couples therapist for me?
Start by reviewing a therapist’s credentials, specialized training, and clinical approach. Consider whether they have experience with your specific concerns, and pay attention to their style — some therapists are structured and goal-oriented, while others are more exploratory. Most importantly, trust how you feel in that first conversation. Research consistently shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is one of the strongest predictors of successful outcomes.
Is online couples therapy as effective as in-person sessions?
For many couples, yes. Research has found that video-based therapy produces outcomes comparable to in-person therapy for a wide range of concerns. Online therapy also removes common barriers like commute time, scheduling conflicts, and childcare challenges — making it easier for busy couples to stay consistent with sessions.
What should couples expect before starting therapy?
Many therapists recommend completing a brief relationship assessment before the first session. This helps identify specific strengths and areas of concern, so therapy can be more focused and effective from the start. Some therapists also offer workshops — such as those based on the Gottman 7 Principles — as a complement to individual sessions, giving couples practical tools to apply between appointments.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Mar 11, 2026 | Blog, couples, couples counseling, love, marriage, Uncategorized
Understanding Relationship Challenges
When a Good Relationship Starts to Break Down
Explore the underlying reasons why even the most loving relationship can face difficulties, and discover how professional guidance can help navigate these challenges.
Reignite Your Connection Today
The Dynamics of Love and Challenges
You still love each other. That has never really been the question. And yet somewhere along the way, conversations started ending in frustration. Silences grew longer. You stopped reaching for each other the way you used to. Now you find yourselves living side by side, wondering how two people who care so deeply can feel so far apart.
This is one of the most painful — and most common — experiences that bring couples to therapy. Not hatred. Not indifference. Love that is very much still present, but somehow no longer enough to bridge the growing distance.
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. As a couples therapist in Westlake Village, I work with couples every week who are stuck in exactly this place. They are not bad partners. They are not failing. They are caught in patterns that, without the right support, have a quiet but powerful way of eroding even the strongest relationships over time.
Understanding why good relationships break down — despite real love — is the first step toward changing the pattern. In this article, I walk through the three most common dynamics I see in couples therapy, and what it looks like to actually move through them.
The Three Patterns That Quietly Erode Good Relationships
1. Communication Breakdown: When Talking Makes Things Worse
Most couples who come to therapy don’t have a shortage of conversations. They have a shortage of conversations that work.
What I see consistently in my work as a couples therapist is that communication breakdown rarely looks like two people refusing to talk. More often, it looks like two people trying very hard to be heard — and consistently failing to feel understood.
Over time, couples develop what researchers at The Gottman Institute call negative sentiment override: a state in which past hurts and frustrations color how partners interpret each other’s words and intentions, even when those words are neutral or even kind. A simple question like “Did you call the plumber?” gets heard as criticism. A gentle suggestion becomes an attack. Both partners are genuinely trying — and yet every conversation seems to end the same way.
This is not a character flaw. It is a pattern. And patterns can be changed.
In couples therapy using the Gottman Method, one of the first areas of focus is helping couples identify the specific ways their communication has gone off track — the Four Horsemen that predict relationship decline (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) — and replacing those patterns with tools for softer start-ups, repair attempts, and genuine dialogue.
The goal is not to eliminate conflict. Conflict is a healthy and necessary part of any close relationship. The goal is to make conflict productive — something that brings you closer rather than driving you further apart.
2. Emotional Disconnection: The Distance That Grows in Silence
Of all the patterns I see in couples therapy, emotional disconnection may be the most quietly devastating — precisely because it rarely announces itself.
It does not arrive with a dramatic fight or a clear turning point. It builds slowly, over months or years, as small bids for connection go unnoticed. A hand reached for and not taken. A worry mentioned in passing and not followed up on. A moment of tenderness that felt too risky to express.
Dr. Sue Johnson, the developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), describes this as an attachment injury — the cumulative effect of moments in which one or both partners began to feel emotionally unsafe reaching toward the other. Over time, both partners pull back. The relationship begins to feel more like a functional partnership than an intimate bond.
What makes this pattern particularly difficult is that it can coexist with a great deal of genuine love. Partners who are emotionally disconnected often describe still caring deeply for each other. What has been lost is not the feeling — it is the expression of it. The reaching. The risk.
In EFT-informed couples therapy, we work to identify the underlying emotions that have been buried beneath the surface conflict or distance — fear, longing, grief, the desire to matter — and create the conditions in which both partners can begin to reach toward each other again with some degree of safety.
This is slow, careful work. But it is some of the most meaningful work I do.
3. Unresolved Resentment: The Weight of Everything That Was Never Said
Resentment is what happens when hurt goes unaddressed long enough.
It is rarely the result of one large event. More often, it accumulates quietly — a series of moments in which one partner felt dismissed, unseen, overburdened, or taken for granted, and chose (or felt unable) to say so. Over time, those unspoken grievances calcify into something harder: a running mental tally, a reflexive brace for disappointment, a protective pulling-away that can look, from the outside, like coldness or indifference.
In my work with couples in Westlake Village and throughout California, I find that resentment is often the presenting issue but rarely the root one. Beneath the resentment, there is almost always a story of unmet needs — connection, appreciation, fairness, safety — that never found language.
One of the most important things couples therapy can offer is a structured space to excavate that story. Not to relitigate old grievances, but to understand what they meant — what they said about each partner’s needs, fears, and deep longings in the relationship. When both partners can hear that story with curiosity rather than defensiveness, something often shifts.
Resentment does not require a villain. It requires understanding. And understanding, in a safe therapeutic space, is something that is genuinely possible — even for couples who have been carrying this weight for years.
Working Through These Patterns: What Couples Therapy Actually Looks Like
Understanding patterns is a starting point. Changing them is the work.
Insight alone is rarely enough. Changing deeply ingrained relationship patterns requires practice, repetition, and the support of a skilled therapist — especially in the moments when old habits pull hardest.
Effective couples therapy is not about refereeing arguments. It is a structured, evidence-based process with three clear goals:
- Identifying the dynamics keeping a couple stuck
- Understanding the emotional needs beneath those dynamics
- Building new ways of relating that are more secure, more connected, and more resilient
This is the work Marina Edelman, LMFT does every day — and it is work she believes in deeply.
Love is rarely the problem.
The couples Marina sees in her Westlake Village therapy practice are not struggling because they stopped caring. They are struggling because they are human — caught in patterns of communication, disconnection, and unspoken hurt that, without the right support, have a way of quietly winning.
The good news: these patterns are not permanent. They are learned. And what is learned can be unlearned — with the right tools, the right space, and the right guide.
If you and your partner are loving each other but not quite reaching each other, couples therapy may be the most important investment you make in your relationship this year.
Marina Edelman, LMFT is a couples therapist serving Westlake Village, Thousand Oaks, and clients throughout California — in person and via telehealth.
To learn more or schedule a consultation: Book an Appointment | 818-851-1293
Couples Therapist in California
Marina Edelman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of TrueMe® Counseling, a couples and relationship therapy practice serving clients in Westlake Village, Thousand Oaks, and throughout California.
Marina specializes in couples therapy, affair recovery, and relationship repair, drawing on a carefully integrated set of evidence-based approaches:
Her counseling is best suited for couples and individuals seeking structured, research-backed support for relationship repair, affair recovery, anxiety, communication challenges, and premarital or marriage counseling — in person or via telehealth across California.
As a Founder of TrueMe Counseling, Marina proudly works with the following therapists with additional specialties:
These therapists see clients in Culver City, and Westlake Village Office as well as virtually all throughout California.
Individuals | Grief | Families | Trauma
Cheryl Baldi is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology who works with individuals, couples, and families in a warm, empathetic, and collaborative environment.
Specializations: Anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, hopelessness, and family systems.
Best suited for: Individuals who feel stuck in unhealthy patterns and are looking for a compassionate, strengths-based therapist to help them build practical tools and reclaim a more peaceful life.
Trauma | Kids & Teens | Families
Dr. Rachel Chistyakov brings both doctoral-level training in psychology and LMFT licensure to her work with couples, families, children, and individuals. Her practice centers on healing, connection, and emotional insight.
Specializations: Trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, family therapy, and specialized work with children and teenagers.
Best suited for: Individuals and families seeking a highly credentialed therapist with broad clinical range, including parents looking for specialized support for children and adolescents.
Individuals | Men's Issues | Substance Abuse
Chris Calandra is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist offering grounded, non-judgmental support to individuals and couples navigating anxiety, relationship tension, addiction, and feeling stuck.
Specializations: Anxiety, substance use and addiction, relationship issues, and men’s mental health.
Best suited for: Individuals who want direct, down-to-earth support and are ready to do meaningful work. Particularly well-suited for men who may be approaching therapy for the first time.
Can couples therapy actually help if we still love each other but feel stuck?
Yes — and this is actually one of the most promising situations for couples therapy. When love is present but the relationship feels disconnected, it usually means the underlying bond is intact. The real issue is a set of learned patterns that are no longer serving the couple.
Marina Edelman, LMFT uses the Gottman Method — a research-based approach developed from over four decades of study on what makes relationships succeed or fail. It helps couples identify the specific negative patterns driving their conflict, replace them with healthier ways of communicating, and rebuild trust and emotional intimacy from the ground up. Rather than simply managing conflict, the Gottman Method works to strengthen the entire foundation of the relationship. Many couples find that therapy not only resolves the immediate struggle but deepens their connection in ways they hadn’t expected.
How do I know if communication breakdown is serious enough to need therapy?
If your conversations regularly end in frustration, withdrawal, or a sense of not being heard — and if attempts to “talk it out” seem to make things worse rather than better — those are meaningful signs that you’ve developed a negative communication pattern. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from couples therapy. The earlier these patterns are addressed, the easier they are to shift.
What causes emotional disconnection in long-term relationships?
Emotional disconnection typically builds gradually over time as small moments of missed connection accumulate. Busy schedules, unaddressed hurts, the weight of parenting or financial stress, and the natural evolution of life transitions can all contribute. It is rarely the result of one event or one person’s failure. It is usually a relational pattern — and, crucially, it is one that can be reversed with intentional, supported work.
Is resentment in a relationship a sign it's too late to repair?
Not at all. Resentment is painful, but it is also a signal — one that points toward unmet needs and unspoken feelings that have never had a proper hearing. In my experience as a couples therapist, resentment that is worked through with skilled support can actually become a turning point in a relationship. The key is creating enough safety for both partners to move from accusation to vulnerability.
How long does couples therapy typically take to see results?
Many couples notice meaningful shifts within 6 –12 sessions, though the full course of therapy varies depending on the complexity of the issues and both partners’ commitment to the process. Affair recovery and deep-rooted resentment may require a longer investment. Your therapist should offer a clear sense of goals and progress from early on in the work.
Schedule a consultation today to discover how our therapy can help you and your partner build a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Jun 19, 2025 | couples, couples counseling, marriage
Strengthen Your Bond with Premarital Counseling
Key Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Learn effective communication techniques to express your needs and listen to your partner.
Develop strategies to manage disagreements constructively and strengthen your partnership.
Understand each other’s values and goals to create a shared vision for your future together.
When to Start Premarital Counseling
The Right Time for Premarital Counseling: Research-Based Insights for Couples
Any Time Is the Right Time
As a marriage therapist, I’m often asked: “When should we start premarital counseling?” My answer is always the same: the best time to start is now, regardless of where you are in your relationship journey. Whether you’re newly engaged, planning your wedding, or even if you’re already married, investing in your relationship through counseling is never too early or too late.
Every relationship is unique, and couples bring different strengths, challenges, and histories to their partnership. Some couples benefit from counseling early in their engagement to establish strong communication patterns, while others may need support later to address specific concerns that have emerged. The key is recognizing that relationship education is an investment in your future together, not a sign that something is wrong.
Many couples hesitate to seek premarital counseling because they feel their relationship is “fine” or worry that it suggests problems. In reality, premarital counseling is preventive care for your relationship—much like regular health check-ups help prevent medical issues. The skills and insights gained through counseling serve as a foundation for navigating the inevitable challenges that all couples face.
What Research Says About Timing
While any time can be the right time, research does provide some guidance on optimal timing for premarital counseling. Studies indicate that to maximize the effects of premarital training, couples should start 4-6 months before marriage and focus on their specific needs for at least 6 weeks.
This timing recommendation makes practical sense for several reasons:
Four to Six Months Before Marriage allows couples to:
- Address any concerns that arise during the assessment process
- Practice new communication skills before the wedding stress intensifies
- Make informed decisions about their relationship without the pressure of immediate wedding plans
- Have time to work through any significant issues that surface during counseling
However, it’s important to note that this research-based timing is about optimization, not necessity. Couples who begin counseling closer to their wedding date, or even after marriage, can still experience significant benefits.
Duration and Structure: What the Research Shows
Premarital counseling generally lasts about 8-10 weeks, with couples meeting once per week on average. However, the duration can vary significantly based on several factors:
Factors Affecting Duration:
- Relationship history: Couples who have been together longer may need less time to explore fundamental compatibility issues
- Communication skills: Those with strong existing communication may require fewer sessions
- Specific challenges: Trust issues can require an extra 2-3 months of counseling to focus on both trust-building and effective communication
- Couple preferences: Some prefer to meet twice weekly for a shorter period, while others benefit from a slower pace
Typical Structure: Most programs involve several sessions lasting from a few weeks to a few months, allowing couples to have in-depth discussions and develop effective strategies. This timeframe provides adequate opportunity to:
- Complete comprehensive assessments
- Discuss key relationship topics
- Practice new skills
- Address any concerns that arise
The Evidence for Effectiveness
The research on premarital counseling effectiveness is compelling. Studies show that couples who participate in premarital education through programs like PREPARE/ENRICH reduce their risk for divorce by 31%. This significant reduction in divorce risk demonstrates the preventive power of relationship education.
Research also shows that nearly 66% of couples therapy clients complete therapy within 20 sessions, highlighting the effectiveness of structured and consistent counseling. This completion rate suggests that most couples find value in the process and are willing to invest the time needed to strengthen their relationship.
Key Topics in Premarital Counseling
Benefits from Premarital Counseling?
Practical Recommendations
Start When You’re Ready, Not When You’re “Supposed To” While research suggests optimal timing, the most important factor is your readiness as a couple to engage in the process. Some couples benefit from starting counseling early in their relationship, while others find it most helpful during engagement.
Consider Your Specific Circumstances
- If you’re dealing with significant stressors (family issues, career changes, etc.), you might benefit from starting earlier to develop coping strategies
- If you have a short engagement, don’t let that stop you—even brief premarital counseling can be beneficial
- If you’re already married, consider it marriage enrichment rather than premarital counseling
Focus on Prevention, Not Problems Remember that seeking premarital counseling is a proactive step toward building a strong marriage. You don’t need to wait for problems to arise—in fact, it’s better if you don’t.
Be Consistent and Engaged Whether you have 6 weeks or 6 months, consistency in attendance and active engagement in the process are more important than the total duration.
Conclusion
The research provides helpful guidelines about timing and duration for premarital counseling, but the most important message is this: there is no wrong time to invest in your relationship. Whether you start 6 months before your wedding or 6 months after, the skills and insights gained through premarital counseling can strengthen your partnership and increase your chances of long-term happiness.
As a marriage therapist, I encourage all couples to view premarital counseling not as a requirement or a problem-solving measure, but as a gift to your future selves. The tools you develop, the deeper understanding you gain, and the communication skills you practice will serve you well throughout your marriage. The research is clear: couples who invest in premarital education have stronger, more resilient relationships.
Addressing Common Concerns About Premarital Counseling
Many couples worry that attending premarital counseling might suggest their relationship is flawed. However, it is a proactive step towards building a strong and resilient partnership. Counseling provides a safe space to explore important topics and develop skills that will benefit the relationship long-term.
Does premarital counseling mean our relationship is in trouble?
No, premarital counseling is not an indication of a troubled relationship. It is a proactive measure to strengthen your bond and prepare for a successful marriage. Many couples find it a valuable investment in their future together.
Will counseling bring up issues we can't resolve?
Counseling is designed to help you address potential issues constructively. A skilled therapist will guide you in navigating difficult topics, fostering understanding, and finding mutually agreeable solutions.
Is premarital counseling only for couples with problems?
Not at all. Premarital counseling is for any couple looking to enhance their relationship. It provides tools and strategies to help you communicate better, manage conflicts, and build a strong foundation for marriage.
The Impact of Premarital Counseling
-
Couples Report Improved Communication
95%
95%
-
Reduction in Divorce Rates
85%
85%
-
Increased Relationship Satisfaction
75%
75%
Start Your Journey to a Stronger Relationship
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Apr 1, 2025 | couples counseling, marriage, mediation, Uncategorized
When Love Moves Out but the Lease Remains
Discover strategies to manage the complexities of navigating relationship transitions due to financial ties like leases, and learn how to regain your independence and happiness through clean and solution oriented communication strategies.
Understanding Relationship Stuckness
Many couples find themselves feeling trapped in relationships due to financial commitments such as shared leases or joint financial obligations. These situations can create a sense of helplessness and strain on the relationship. As a Gottman Level 3 trained licensed marriage and family therapist, I specialize in helping couples navigate these challenges. My practice focuses on empowering individuals to make informed decisions about their relationships, ensuring both emotional and financial well-being.
While shared leases can create challenging transitions, remembering the temporary nature of the situation helps maintain perspective. With clear communication, established boundaries, and forward planning, this period can be navigated with minimal additional stress.
Financial entanglements like a shared lease can create a false sense of obligation to remain in an unfulfilling relationship. What’s truly needed is honest communication about both parties’ needs and boundaries. Creating a practical exit strategy that addresses lease obligations can help transform what feels like being ‘trapped’ into an empowering transition plan that respects both partners.
I was named a local expert on ApartmentGuide. Read the full article here: Stuck In a Relationship Because of a Lease? Here’s What Experts Prescribe. https://www.apartmentguide.com/blog/stuck-in-a-relationship-because-of-a-lease/
ApartmentGuide is a subsidiary of Redfin.com
Navigating Financially Tied Relationships
In today’s housing market, financial practicality often means couples move in together earlier in relationships than previous generations. While this arrangement works beautifully for many, it creates unique challenges when relationships end but lease agreements don’t. The emotional complexity of a breakup becomes intertwined with practical housing considerations, creating a situation where many feel “stuck” in proximity to an ex-partner.
As housing costs continue to rise in metropolitan areas, this scenario becomes increasingly common. According to recent surveys, nearly 40% of adults have continued living with a partner after deciding to end their relationship, primarily citing financial constraints and lease obligations as the determining factors.
This blog explores strategies for maintaining your emotional wellbeing while navigating the practical realities of shared leases during relationship transitions.
How can financial obligations affect my relationship?
Financial obligations can create stress and tension, leading to feelings of being trapped. It’s important to communicate openly about financial concerns and seek professional guidance if needed.
What steps can we take to address feeling stuck?
Start by having an honest conversation about your feelings and financial situation. Consider seeking therapy to explore your options and develop a plan that prioritizes both partners’ needs.
Is it possible to renegotiate a lease if we decide to separate?
Yes, many landlords are willing to negotiate lease terms if both parties agree. It may involve finding a replacement tenant or paying a fee, but it’s worth exploring to alleviate the financial burden.
Can financial therapy help us manage our obligations better?
Absolutely. Financial therapy can provide tools and strategies to manage your financial commitments more effectively, reducing stress and improving your relationship dynamics.
When facing a lease constraint in a relationship that's ending, consider these primary options:
Breaking a lease typically involves financial penalties but provides the cleanest separation.
Considerations:
- Review your lease agreement for early termination clauses
- Calculate the total cost of breaking the lease (typically 1-2 months’ rent plus security deposit)
- Determine if either party can afford to take on this cost alone or if it will be shared
- Consider whether the emotional benefits outweigh the financial penalties
Many lease agreements allow for subletting or assigning the lease to new tenants, with landlord approval.
Considerations:
- Review lease terms regarding subletting and assignment rights
- Understand the process for landlord approval of new tenants
- Determine who will move out and who will stay
- Address how the security deposit will be handled
- Establish clear timelines for the transition
Cont. Cohabitation w/Boundaries
For those with longer leases or significant financial constraints, continuing to live together may be necessary, but with clearly established boundaries.
Considerations:
- Establish clear agreements about shared spaces, private areas, and schedules
- Create systems for managing shared expenses
- Set expectations about guests and new relationships
- Develop communication protocols for addressing issues that arise
Relationship and Financial Advice
Feeling trapped in a relationship due to financial ties can be overwhelming. Reach out today for a personalized consultation to explore your options and find a path forward.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Feb 3, 2025 | Blog, couples, couples counseling
Navigating Love and Finances
The Impact of Money on Relationships
Explore how financial dynamics shape your relationship and discover tools to foster open communication about money matters.
The Role of Money in Relationships
Why Couples Should Talk About Money
Money is often a significant source of tension in relationships, affecting everything from daily interactions to long-term planning. Financial disagreements can lead to stress, mistrust, and even separation if not addressed properly. It’s crucial for couples to engage in honest conversations about their financial goals, spending habits, and budgeting strategies to build a strong, unified partnership.
By discussing money openly, couples can align their values and priorities, reducing misunderstandings and fostering a supportive environment. This dialogue is essential for creating a shared vision for the future, ensuring both partners feel heard and respected in financial decisions.
Understanding Financial Therapy
The Benefits of Financial Therapy
Financial Therapy is a transformative approach that combines emotional support with practical financial guidance. It helps individuals and couples address the emotional and psychological aspects of money management, leading to healthier financial behaviors and improved relationship dynamics. By working with a financial therapist such as Marina Edelman, couples can learn to navigate financial stressors, enhance communication, and develop a more harmonious approach to managing their finances together.
Essential Financial Discussions
- What are our financial goals?
- How do we manage our budget?
- What are our spending habits?
- How do we handle debt?
- What is our savings strategy?
- How do we plan for retirement?
- What are our priorities for major purchases?
- How do we approach financial emergencies?
- What are our views on financial independence?
- How do we communicate about money?
- What is our investment strategy?
- How do we balance individual and joint finances?
- How do we handle financial disagreements?
- What is our plan for financial education?
- How do we support each other’s financial goals?
- What are our expectations for financial roles?
- How do we track our financial progress?
- What are our plans for charitable giving?
Transform Your Relationship with Financial Therapy
Discover how financial therapy can strengthen your relationship by addressing money matters with clarity and compassion. Take the first step towards a healthier financial future together.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Jan 1, 2025 | couples counseling, Uncategorized
Unlock the Power of Shared Dreams
Become the IT Couple: Manifest Your Marital Goals
As a Los Angels couples therapist, I find that starting of the New Year with intention for your relationship can be transformative. By combining the Gottman Method with Joe Dispenza’s manifestation principles, my template will help you achieve your relationship and life goals.
Introducing the marriage manifestation template
Harnessing the Power of Connection and Manifestation
The Marriage Manifestation Template is a unique tool that integrates the principles of the Gottman Method and Joe Dispenza’s manifestation techniques. This innovative approach helps couples align their aspirations, fostering a deeper emotional connection and a shared vision for the future. By visualizing and articulating your goals together, you create a powerful synergy that enhances both personal and relational growth.
Benefits of a Marriage Manifestation Template
Creating shared dreams offers numerous benefits, including strengthening emotional bonds and clarifying shared goals. It acts as a visual reminder of your commitments, helping to keep both partners aligned and motivated. This practice not only enhances communication but also fosters a sense of unity and purpose, making it easier to navigate challenges and celebrate achievements together.
Enhancing Relationship Dynamics
Integrating Manifestation to create 2025 Marriage Goals
Begin by discussing and identifying common aspirations that both partners wish to manifest together.
Daily Gratitude Practice. Create affirmations that align with your shared vision
Love Maps, nurture fondness, turn towards, accept influence, break gridlock
Set Small, Achievable Goals.
Track progress.
Crafting Your Vision for the Future
Creating a Marriage Manifestation template is a powerful tool that combines the insights of the Gottman Method with the transformative principles of Joe Dispenza’s manifestation techniques. By visualizing your shared goals, you and your partner can strengthen your relationship and align your aspirations. This process not only enhances communication but also fosters a deeper connection, paving the way for a harmonious future together.
Take the first step towards realizing your dreams by dedicating time to craft your vision. Embrace the journey of discovery and collaboration, and watch as your shared dreams begin to manifest. Remember, the key to success lies in your commitment and openness to growth. Start today and witness the positive changes unfold in your life.
Explore the Possibilities
Ready to dive deeper into the world of manifestation and the Gottman Method? Schedule a session and learn how this powerful tool can enhance your relationship and personal growth. Our sessions are designed to provide you with the skills and insights needed to create a meaningful and beautiful marriage.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Feb 8, 2024 | couples, couples counseling, holiday, love, marriage
Valentine’s Day is often celebrated with grand gestures, romantic dinners, and extravagant gifts. However, amidst the flurry of roses and chocolates, it’s essential to remember that the true essence of this day lies in fostering love and connection, not just with a partner, but with ourselves and those around us. In this blog post, we’ll explore how mindfulness practices can enrich our Valentine’s Day experience, helping us cultivate deeper connections and spread love in meaningful ways.
Grounding in the Present Moment
Valentine’s Day can sometimes evoke feelings of longing or nostalgia, especially for those who are single or have experienced loss. Mindfulness teaches us to anchor ourselves in the present moment, appreciating the beauty and love that surrounds us right now. Take a few moments to pause, breathe deeply, and observe the sights, sounds, and sensations around you. Whether it’s the warmth of sunlight on your skin or the laughter of friends, grounding yourself in the present can foster a sense of gratitude and connection.
Loving-Kindness Meditation
A powerful mindfulness practice for cultivating love and connection is loving-kindness meditation, also known as Metta meditation. Begin by directing kind and loving thoughts towards yourself, then gradually extend these wishes to loved ones, acquaintances, and even those with whom you may have difficulties. On Valentine’s Day, set aside time for a loving-kindness meditation practice, allowing yourself to connect with the inherent goodness and humanity within yourself and others.
Meaningful Gestures of Appreciation
While extravagant gifts can be delightful, the most meaningful expressions of love often come from simple, heartfelt gestures. Practice mindfulness by infusing your actions with intention and presence. Write a heartfelt note expressing your gratitude and appreciation for someone special in your life. Prepare a meal with mindfulness, savoring each ingredient and infusing it with love. Small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness can deepen connections and foster a sense of shared joy and appreciation.
Deep Listening and Empathy
Mindful listening is a powerful tool for cultivating love and connection in relationships. Instead of rushing through conversations or formulating responses in your mind, practice deep listening—fully present and attentive to the words and emotions of your loved ones. Validate their feelings, offer empathy, and create a safe space for open communication. By listening mindfully, you strengthen your connections and deepen your understanding of one another.
Cultivating Self-Compassion
Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate all forms of love, including the love we have for ourselves. Unfortunately, self-criticism and doubt can often overshadow self-love. Practice mindfulness by cultivating self-compassion—acknowledging your own humanity, flaws, and imperfections with kindness and understanding. Treat yourself with the same warmth and compassion you would offer to a dear friend, recognizing that you are worthy of love and belonging just as you are.
By incorporating mindfulness practices into our celebrations, we can deepen our connections, foster compassion, and spread love in meaningful ways. Whether you’re spending the day with a partner, friends, or alone, may you embrace the present moment with open-heartedness and gratitude, cultivating love and connection in every interaction.
If you and your partner are needing some extra support, I am currently accepting new clients both online and in-person. You may call me at the number below or book directly on my website!
marinaedelman.com 818.851.1293
