by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Mar 11, 2026 | Blog, couples, couples counseling, love, marriage, Uncategorized
Understanding Relationship Challenges
When a Good Relationship Starts to Break Down
Explore the underlying reasons why even the most loving relationship can face difficulties, and discover how professional guidance can help navigate these challenges.
Reignite Your Connection Today
The Dynamics of Love and Challenges
You still love each other. That has never really been the question. And yet somewhere along the way, conversations started ending in frustration. Silences grew longer. You stopped reaching for each other the way you used to. Now you find yourselves living side by side, wondering how two people who care so deeply can feel so far apart.
This is one of the most painful — and most common — experiences that bring couples to therapy. Not hatred. Not indifference. Love that is very much still present, but somehow no longer enough to bridge the growing distance.
If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. As a couples therapist in Westlake Village, I work with couples every week who are stuck in exactly this place. They are not bad partners. They are not failing. They are caught in patterns that, without the right support, have a quiet but powerful way of eroding even the strongest relationships over time.
Understanding why good relationships break down — despite real love — is the first step toward changing the pattern. In this article, I walk through the three most common dynamics I see in couples therapy, and what it looks like to actually move through them.
The Three Patterns That Quietly Erode Good Relationships
1. Communication Breakdown: When Talking Makes Things Worse
Most couples who come to therapy don’t have a shortage of conversations. They have a shortage of conversations that work.
What I see consistently in my work as a couples therapist is that communication breakdown rarely looks like two people refusing to talk. More often, it looks like two people trying very hard to be heard — and consistently failing to feel understood.
Over time, couples develop what researchers at The Gottman Institute call negative sentiment override: a state in which past hurts and frustrations color how partners interpret each other’s words and intentions, even when those words are neutral or even kind. A simple question like “Did you call the plumber?” gets heard as criticism. A gentle suggestion becomes an attack. Both partners are genuinely trying — and yet every conversation seems to end the same way.
This is not a character flaw. It is a pattern. And patterns can be changed.
In couples therapy using the Gottman Method, one of the first areas of focus is helping couples identify the specific ways their communication has gone off track — the Four Horsemen that predict relationship decline (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) — and replacing those patterns with tools for softer start-ups, repair attempts, and genuine dialogue.
The goal is not to eliminate conflict. Conflict is a healthy and necessary part of any close relationship. The goal is to make conflict productive — something that brings you closer rather than driving you further apart.
2. Emotional Disconnection: The Distance That Grows in Silence
Of all the patterns I see in couples therapy, emotional disconnection may be the most quietly devastating — precisely because it rarely announces itself.
It does not arrive with a dramatic fight or a clear turning point. It builds slowly, over months or years, as small bids for connection go unnoticed. A hand reached for and not taken. A worry mentioned in passing and not followed up on. A moment of tenderness that felt too risky to express.
Dr. Sue Johnson, the developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), describes this as an attachment injury — the cumulative effect of moments in which one or both partners began to feel emotionally unsafe reaching toward the other. Over time, both partners pull back. The relationship begins to feel more like a functional partnership than an intimate bond.
What makes this pattern particularly difficult is that it can coexist with a great deal of genuine love. Partners who are emotionally disconnected often describe still caring deeply for each other. What has been lost is not the feeling — it is the expression of it. The reaching. The risk.
In EFT-informed couples therapy, we work to identify the underlying emotions that have been buried beneath the surface conflict or distance — fear, longing, grief, the desire to matter — and create the conditions in which both partners can begin to reach toward each other again with some degree of safety.
This is slow, careful work. But it is some of the most meaningful work I do.
3. Unresolved Resentment: The Weight of Everything That Was Never Said
Resentment is what happens when hurt goes unaddressed long enough.
It is rarely the result of one large event. More often, it accumulates quietly — a series of moments in which one partner felt dismissed, unseen, overburdened, or taken for granted, and chose (or felt unable) to say so. Over time, those unspoken grievances calcify into something harder: a running mental tally, a reflexive brace for disappointment, a protective pulling-away that can look, from the outside, like coldness or indifference.
In my work with couples in Westlake Village and throughout California, I find that resentment is often the presenting issue but rarely the root one. Beneath the resentment, there is almost always a story of unmet needs — connection, appreciation, fairness, safety — that never found language.
One of the most important things couples therapy can offer is a structured space to excavate that story. Not to relitigate old grievances, but to understand what they meant — what they said about each partner’s needs, fears, and deep longings in the relationship. When both partners can hear that story with curiosity rather than defensiveness, something often shifts.
Resentment does not require a villain. It requires understanding. And understanding, in a safe therapeutic space, is something that is genuinely possible — even for couples who have been carrying this weight for years.
Working Through These Patterns: What Couples Therapy Actually Looks Like
Understanding patterns is a starting point. Changing them is the work.
Insight alone is rarely enough. Changing deeply ingrained relationship patterns requires practice, repetition, and the support of a skilled therapist — especially in the moments when old habits pull hardest.
Effective couples therapy is not about refereeing arguments. It is a structured, evidence-based process with three clear goals:
- Identifying the dynamics keeping a couple stuck
- Understanding the emotional needs beneath those dynamics
- Building new ways of relating that are more secure, more connected, and more resilient
This is the work Marina Edelman, LMFT does every day — and it is work she believes in deeply.
Love is rarely the problem.
The couples Marina sees in her Westlake Village therapy practice are not struggling because they stopped caring. They are struggling because they are human — caught in patterns of communication, disconnection, and unspoken hurt that, without the right support, have a way of quietly winning.
The good news: these patterns are not permanent. They are learned. And what is learned can be unlearned — with the right tools, the right space, and the right guide.
If you and your partner are loving each other but not quite reaching each other, couples therapy may be the most important investment you make in your relationship this year.
Marina Edelman, LMFT is a couples therapist serving Westlake Village, Thousand Oaks, and clients throughout California — in person and via telehealth.
To learn more or schedule a consultation: Book an Appointment | 818-851-1293
Couples Therapist in California
Marina Edelman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of TrueMe® Counseling, a couples and relationship therapy practice serving clients in Westlake Village, Thousand Oaks, and throughout California.
Marina specializes in couples therapy, affair recovery, and relationship repair, drawing on a carefully integrated set of evidence-based approaches:
Her counseling is best suited for couples and individuals seeking structured, research-backed support for relationship repair, affair recovery, anxiety, communication challenges, and premarital or marriage counseling — in person or via telehealth across California.
As a Founder of TrueMe Counseling, Marina proudly works with the following therapists with additional specialties:
These therapists see clients in Culver City, and Westlake Village Office as well as virtually all throughout California.
Individuals | Grief | Families | Trauma
Cheryl Baldi is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology who works with individuals, couples, and families in a warm, empathetic, and collaborative environment.
Specializations: Anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, hopelessness, and family systems.
Best suited for: Individuals who feel stuck in unhealthy patterns and are looking for a compassionate, strengths-based therapist to help them build practical tools and reclaim a more peaceful life.
Trauma | Kids & Teens | Families
Dr. Rachel Chistyakov brings both doctoral-level training in psychology and LMFT licensure to her work with couples, families, children, and individuals. Her practice centers on healing, connection, and emotional insight.
Specializations: Trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, family therapy, and specialized work with children and teenagers.
Best suited for: Individuals and families seeking a highly credentialed therapist with broad clinical range, including parents looking for specialized support for children and adolescents.
Individuals | Men's Issues | Substance Abuse
Chris Calandra is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist offering grounded, non-judgmental support to individuals and couples navigating anxiety, relationship tension, addiction, and feeling stuck.
Specializations: Anxiety, substance use and addiction, relationship issues, and men's mental health.
Best suited for: Individuals who want direct, down-to-earth support and are ready to do meaningful work. Particularly well-suited for men who may be approaching therapy for the first time.
Can couples therapy actually help if we still love each other but feel stuck?
Yes — and this is actually one of the most promising situations for couples therapy. When love is present but the relationship feels disconnected, it usually means the underlying bond is intact. The real issue is a set of learned patterns that are no longer serving the couple.
Marina Edelman, LMFT uses the Gottman Method — a research-based approach developed from over four decades of study on what makes relationships succeed or fail. It helps couples identify the specific negative patterns driving their conflict, replace them with healthier ways of communicating, and rebuild trust and emotional intimacy from the ground up. Rather than simply managing conflict, the Gottman Method works to strengthen the entire foundation of the relationship. Many couples find that therapy not only resolves the immediate struggle but deepens their connection in ways they hadn’t expected.
How do I know if communication breakdown is serious enough to need therapy?
If your conversations regularly end in frustration, withdrawal, or a sense of not being heard — and if attempts to “talk it out” seem to make things worse rather than better — those are meaningful signs that you’ve developed a negative communication pattern. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from couples therapy. The earlier these patterns are addressed, the easier they are to shift.
What causes emotional disconnection in long-term relationships?
Emotional disconnection typically builds gradually over time as small moments of missed connection accumulate. Busy schedules, unaddressed hurts, the weight of parenting or financial stress, and the natural evolution of life transitions can all contribute. It is rarely the result of one event or one person’s failure. It is usually a relational pattern — and, crucially, it is one that can be reversed with intentional, supported work.
Is resentment in a relationship a sign it's too late to repair?
Not at all. Resentment is painful, but it is also a signal — one that points toward unmet needs and unspoken feelings that have never had a proper hearing. In my experience as a couples therapist, resentment that is worked through with skilled support can actually become a turning point in a relationship. The key is creating enough safety for both partners to move from accusation to vulnerability.
How long does couples therapy typically take to see results?
Many couples notice meaningful shifts within 6 –12 sessions, though the full course of therapy varies depending on the complexity of the issues and both partners’ commitment to the process. Affair recovery and deep-rooted resentment may require a longer investment. Your therapist should offer a clear sense of goals and progress from early on in the work.
Schedule a consultation today to discover how our therapy can help you and your partner build a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Jun 19, 2025 | couples, couples counseling, marriage
Strengthen Your Bond with Premarital Counseling
Key Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Learn effective communication techniques to express your needs and listen to your partner.
Develop strategies to manage disagreements constructively and strengthen your partnership.
Understand each other’s values and goals to create a shared vision for your future together.
When to Start Premarital Counseling
The Right Time for Premarital Counseling: Research-Based Insights for Couples
Any Time Is the Right Time
As a marriage therapist, I’m often asked: “When should we start premarital counseling?” My answer is always the same: the best time to start is now, regardless of where you are in your relationship journey. Whether you’re newly engaged, planning your wedding, or even if you’re already married, investing in your relationship through counseling is never too early or too late.
Every relationship is unique, and couples bring different strengths, challenges, and histories to their partnership. Some couples benefit from counseling early in their engagement to establish strong communication patterns, while others may need support later to address specific concerns that have emerged. The key is recognizing that relationship education is an investment in your future together, not a sign that something is wrong.
Many couples hesitate to seek premarital counseling because they feel their relationship is “fine” or worry that it suggests problems. In reality, premarital counseling is preventive care for your relationship—much like regular health check-ups help prevent medical issues. The skills and insights gained through counseling serve as a foundation for navigating the inevitable challenges that all couples face.
What Research Says About Timing
While any time can be the right time, research does provide some guidance on optimal timing for premarital counseling. Studies indicate that to maximize the effects of premarital training, couples should start 4-6 months before marriage and focus on their specific needs for at least 6 weeks.
This timing recommendation makes practical sense for several reasons:
Four to Six Months Before Marriage allows couples to:
- Address any concerns that arise during the assessment process
- Practice new communication skills before the wedding stress intensifies
- Make informed decisions about their relationship without the pressure of immediate wedding plans
- Have time to work through any significant issues that surface during counseling
However, it’s important to note that this research-based timing is about optimization, not necessity. Couples who begin counseling closer to their wedding date, or even after marriage, can still experience significant benefits.
Duration and Structure: What the Research Shows
Premarital counseling generally lasts about 8-10 weeks, with couples meeting once per week on average. However, the duration can vary significantly based on several factors:
Factors Affecting Duration:
- Relationship history: Couples who have been together longer may need less time to explore fundamental compatibility issues
- Communication skills: Those with strong existing communication may require fewer sessions
- Specific challenges: Trust issues can require an extra 2-3 months of counseling to focus on both trust-building and effective communication
- Couple preferences: Some prefer to meet twice weekly for a shorter period, while others benefit from a slower pace
Typical Structure: Most programs involve several sessions lasting from a few weeks to a few months, allowing couples to have in-depth discussions and develop effective strategies. This timeframe provides adequate opportunity to:
- Complete comprehensive assessments
- Discuss key relationship topics
- Practice new skills
- Address any concerns that arise
The Evidence for Effectiveness
The research on premarital counseling effectiveness is compelling. Studies show that couples who participate in premarital education through programs like PREPARE/ENRICH reduce their risk for divorce by 31%. This significant reduction in divorce risk demonstrates the preventive power of relationship education.
Research also shows that nearly 66% of couples therapy clients complete therapy within 20 sessions, highlighting the effectiveness of structured and consistent counseling. This completion rate suggests that most couples find value in the process and are willing to invest the time needed to strengthen their relationship.
Key Topics in Premarital Counseling
Benefits from Premarital Counseling?
Practical Recommendations
Start When You’re Ready, Not When You’re “Supposed To” While research suggests optimal timing, the most important factor is your readiness as a couple to engage in the process. Some couples benefit from starting counseling early in their relationship, while others find it most helpful during engagement.
Consider Your Specific Circumstances
- If you’re dealing with significant stressors (family issues, career changes, etc.), you might benefit from starting earlier to develop coping strategies
- If you have a short engagement, don’t let that stop you—even brief premarital counseling can be beneficial
- If you’re already married, consider it marriage enrichment rather than premarital counseling
Focus on Prevention, Not Problems Remember that seeking premarital counseling is a proactive step toward building a strong marriage. You don’t need to wait for problems to arise—in fact, it’s better if you don’t.
Be Consistent and Engaged Whether you have 6 weeks or 6 months, consistency in attendance and active engagement in the process are more important than the total duration.
Conclusion
The research provides helpful guidelines about timing and duration for premarital counseling, but the most important message is this: there is no wrong time to invest in your relationship. Whether you start 6 months before your wedding or 6 months after, the skills and insights gained through premarital counseling can strengthen your partnership and increase your chances of long-term happiness.
As a marriage therapist, I encourage all couples to view premarital counseling not as a requirement or a problem-solving measure, but as a gift to your future selves. The tools you develop, the deeper understanding you gain, and the communication skills you practice will serve you well throughout your marriage. The research is clear: couples who invest in premarital education have stronger, more resilient relationships.
Addressing Common Concerns About Premarital Counseling
Many couples worry that attending premarital counseling might suggest their relationship is flawed. However, it is a proactive step towards building a strong and resilient partnership. Counseling provides a safe space to explore important topics and develop skills that will benefit the relationship long-term.
Does premarital counseling mean our relationship is in trouble?
No, premarital counseling is not an indication of a troubled relationship. It is a proactive measure to strengthen your bond and prepare for a successful marriage. Many couples find it a valuable investment in their future together.
Will counseling bring up issues we can't resolve?
Counseling is designed to help you address potential issues constructively. A skilled therapist will guide you in navigating difficult topics, fostering understanding, and finding mutually agreeable solutions.
Is premarital counseling only for couples with problems?
Not at all. Premarital counseling is for any couple looking to enhance their relationship. It provides tools and strategies to help you communicate better, manage conflicts, and build a strong foundation for marriage.
The Impact of Premarital Counseling
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Couples Report Improved Communication
95%
95%
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Reduction in Divorce Rates
85%
85%
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Increased Relationship Satisfaction
75%
75%
Start Your Journey to a Stronger Relationship
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | May 2, 2021 | couples, marriage
Communicate, Communicate some more, And Now Again!
I never meet couples in my practice who over communicate. Instead I meet couples who make wrong assumptions about one another, stonewall and say things like “what’s the point” or “nothing I say matters”, fight to win.
Sounds like you? It’s o.k. and even beneficial for your relationship to fight as long as it’s done with intention to gain closeness or increase understanding. Unfortunately couples get lost in the power struggle that is created. How it comes about no-one knows but they know they are in the middle of it. It feels like a cob web, you don’t see it as you are walking through the forest but you sure know you walked right into it. Getting out of the web or power struggle is a struggle on its own. You promise yourself to not repeat a mistake but nevertheless find ourself battling for control. Who started it – anyone’s guess. Who ends it – either one can.
There is a theory, not sure who to attribute it too, that we enter into a committed relationship with someone who inadvertently picks on our wounds. They don’t mean to do it but they do it. Ever point out a bruise to your significant other just to have them push on it? They are trying to confirm the visual and accidentally do it too hard. From a relationship stand point, let’s say Partner A feels anxious if a fight is not immediately repaired and they marry Partner B who needs time to process. When Partner B asks for time they are not trying to punish or reject Partner A and yet that is exactly how it feels. So who should sacrifice their needs?
Maybe no one needs too. A great tool is for both partners to validate their needs in an exaggerated way. So in this instance Partner A would say “I know you need time to process and despite my fear of being apart during this time I will wait for you”. Partner B should validate and offer up something to comfort Partner A “I appreciate you acknowledging my need, let’s talk in 2 hours”. At this point it is vital for Partner B to stick to that promise. In absence of following through on this commitment betrayal and mistrust will start to grow.
The example above sounds very forced and formal. This is not how you will continue to speak but sometimes when learning a new skill exaggeration helps. Remember when you started to drive and you were very mechanical in checking rear view mirror and then paying attention to the road and then checking side mirrors and so on. Think of retraining yourself as learning to drive. Yes it is mechanical but the results are worth it. Slowly natural patterns will set in and trust and attunement will be second nature.
Try these communication tools:
- Speak with good intention
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- Is your intention to win an argument or be understood
- Validate what your spouse just said even if you disagree.
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- Validation is not an apology or an agreement, simply restate what your partner said
- Speak slowly and for short period of time
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- Your partner can’t process or remember a monologue
- Use ‘I Statements’
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- I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to not accuse but merely share a feeling
- Stay on topic
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- The flood gates have opened up and you are finally talking but practice self restraint and stay focused on one topic until a resolution has been reached
In my subsequent blogs I will share the second part of healthy communication practices. For now see if you can incorporate these 5 into your relationship. These tips are beneficial not just for romantic partners but for platonic and professional relationships as well.
Please visit marinaedelman.com to learn more about me or follow me on Instagram @marina.on.marriage. Feel free to leave comments or ask follow up questions. Happy Coupling!
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“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.”
—Helen Keller
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Feb 4, 2021 | couples, marriage
VALENTINES DAY! Thinking outside of the heart shaped box.
Finally, February is here! Love is in the air; romance is nearly in full bloom as the most romantic holiday of the year is quickly approaching. It’s no secret, as local drug store aisles are bursting with pink and red heart shaped chocolates, teddy bears, and somewhere in the rows and rows of sentimental parchment awaits the perfect card, with the perfect words, just waiting to express to your chosen one your deepest love and devotion.
Valentine’s Day has been commercialized
Valentine’s Day sometimes gets a bad rap as an overly commercial holiday exclusively for those who are in committed romantic relationships. Even then sometimes those who are in said relationships often have different expectations of the highly anticipated V-day leading to less than desirable outcomes. Singles and couples alike have questioned the need for there to be one specific day of the year to celebrate love when in reality we human types need doses of love on the daily. On Valentine’s Day, love may be in the air…but sometimes so is anxiety.
Feelings surrounding Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day may bring up varying degrees of excitement, expectation, melancholy or even fear, depending on the age and state of your relationship, or lack thereof. And then there is social media, bursting at the seams with perfect images of gorgeous couples celebrating in the oh-so ideal way. Breathe. It can all be well, and well… even blissful, in a way that suits your unique circumstances.
Social interaction can have a significant influence on mental health and psychological well-being on Valentine’s Day, as well as the other 364 days of the year. No matter your relationship status, you can celebrate by reaching out and connecting with those who matter the most to you. Whether you’re married, dating, single, or consciously un-coupled, Valentine’s Day can be for anyone interested in a day of highlighting love and connection.
But I am single on Valentine’s Day
Are you single and have other single friends? Make plans to connect. Physical distance does not have to mean “social” distance in the days of Zoom. Are all of your friends in relationships? Do something special with family, or reach out to someone that you know may be in need. Giving can be a wonderful way to not only to help someone else, but it will also in turn increase your well-being at the same time.
Finally, Valentine’s Day can be an excellent opportunity to show love to the one who needs it the most. Yourself. Who better to celebrate with then the one with whom you have been in a relationship the longest? Self-love can be the best way to spend the “all hearts day” by piling on the self-care. This can be done according to your own desire: getting flowers or a special gift for yourself, doing something you’ve always wanted to do, or maybe doing nothing at all because with your very busy schedule: it is about time.
Valentine’s Day can be amazing for couples but remember, it’s not just for couples. Family, friends, and especially you can get special treatment and much-deserved attention making this a very special, and LOVEly day.
No matter how you choose to celebrate your personal version of love and connection- Happy Valentine’s Day!
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Sharalee Hall is Marina Edelman’s associate. She has experience working with couples struggling to create a loving marriage. She is currently accepting new clients via tele therapy.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Oct 4, 2019 | Blog, couples, divorce, marriage
Fighting is a common practice in relationships. Couples fight and disagree all the time. The smallest disagreement can boil over into World War III. Make sure you are fighting about real things and not assumptions.
Common reasons couples fight are:
- Lack of Sex.
- Lack of Money. There are so many different fights that couples can get into when it comes to money. …
- Kids
- Timing
- Quality Time
- Lack of Romance
- Chores. …who does what?
- Pet Peeves
But are we really listening to our significant other’s reasoning and are we giving them the benefit of the doubt that they sometimes deserve? Why do we spend so much time fighting because of our own hurt egos, assumptions, and pride?
The question we should really be asking ourselves is, why do we make assumptions? Easy. People make assumptions naturally to fill in the blanks or holes in situations. It’s kind of like Rational Choice Theory – Rational choice theory states that individuals rely on rational calculations to make rational choices that result in outcomes aligned with their own best interests.
Five Major Assumptions that Couples Make!
- “If you love me, you’ll know what I’m thinking.”
One of the biggest assumptions couples make is that their partners can read their minds. If and WHEN they can’t, then the next assumption is that they must not love or care about them.
- “We’d be happier if our sex life was better.”
Even bigger than a lackluster sex life is that the problem may be a lack of trust or emotional attachment.
- “If you’d just do X or Y, everything would work out.”
This assumption happens when a person does not want to look at themselves as wrong. They don’t want to look deeper into their own issues and seek help, so they point blame to their partner. It’s easier to blame someone else instead of looking at our own faults.
- “You should put me first.”
With this assumption, there is an expectation that it’s your partner’s duty to make you happy. Your happiness should actually be your own responsibility. Find your happiness, then share it together with your partner.
- “We should be able to figure this out already.”
This is an unattainable expectation. All couples think that they should be farther along in their relationship than they are, when the reality is that relationships are hard work, all the time.
What are the benefits of giving your partner the benefit of the doubt? Less fighting!
Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt not only helps you to avoid these hurt feelings, it encourages positivity and patience in your relationship. Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt will keep your partner from jumping into defensive mode, therefore avoiding an unnecessary argument. It will show them that you trust and appreciate them. So next time you feel like jumping to conclusions and turning something into a fight, sit back and really have an in-depth conversation with your partner, ask the right questions, and get the true answers. Clarity equals peace in all relationships. Peace and happiness is priceless, and should always be a goal in any relationship.
When was the last time you had a relationship check-up – maybe it’s time to schedule a check up appointment.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Jun 4, 2019 | Blog
Let’s talk about adult attachment!
Similar to the way that we attach to our primary caregivers as infants, there are four attachment styles that we may exhibit in our adult romantic relationships or in our adult friendships – secure, preoccupied, avoidant, and fearful.
These four styles lie on a spectrum characterized by low or high avoidance, and low or high anxiety. The amount of anxiety you feel and the amount of avoidance you partake in determine your attachment style. With a secure attachment, there is low anxiety and low avoidance; you feel close to your partner, you’re able to talk about difficult topics without negative emotions and without needing to leave, and have a consistent outlook on the relationship. In contrast, an avoidant attachment style is characterized by low anxiety and high avoidance; you may avoid any serious topic of conversation, and when you find yourself in a serious situation or feeling high levels of emotions, you may need to physically and emotionally detach from your partner, sometimes without warning and for a long period of time.
As a couples therapist, it’s important for me to help my clients identify their adult attachment styles and to find ways to work towards a secure attachment. Attachment style isn’t permanent – we have the capacity to change it!
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Oct 15, 2018 | Blog
Monday Marriage Tip…compliment your partner. According to Gottman research a healthy relationship has a 5:1 ratio. Five positive to one negative comment. Infuse your relationship with compliments and you both will benefit.
This act of kindness increases serotonin for both the giver and receiver which leads to increased productivity, decreased stress, and more harmony. Make it part of your routine and watch the bickering between you subside.
#marriage #couples #argument #therapy #therapist #marriagecounseling
