by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Sep 26, 2018 | Blog
Experts agree that good quality sleep is important for proper body and mind functioning. Lack of sleep affects our ability to concentrate, metabolism and our mood – more specifically depression.
Proper sleep hygiene includes but not limited to:
- Maintain a constant routine – go to sleep and wake up at the same time
- Avoid naps
- Set thermostat to 68F
- Keep the room as dark as possible
- Eliminate caffein after lunch
- Stop using electronics 1 hour before bedtime
- White noise machines are helpful
- Exercise regularly
- If you have a tendency to ruminate then write down tasks prior to going to bed
- Meditate
Hope these tips help and you have a good nights rest. Feel free to add suggestions in the comments field.
#sleep #depression #mood #therapy #therapist
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Sep 25, 2018 | Blog
Autophobia is the fear of being alone. Some people become so consumed with never being alone that they lose themselves in trying to please others or accepting invitations to just not be alone. What is so scary about being alone? Loneliness can bring about depression but being alone, even for extroverts, can be calming and refreshing. Try running errands, going to lunch, or staying home on Saturday night all by yourself and pay attention to how you feel. It’s not so scary and you might actually enjoy it.
#alone #depression #fear #anxiety #therapy
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Jan 12, 2017 | Blog, holiday
[heading animation=”” color=”” type=”1″ align=”left”]Post Holiday Hangover[/heading]
Hangover can be defined as {a severe headache or other after effects caused by drinking an excess of alcohol or a thing that has survived from the past}
Let’s focus on the latter definition, a thing that has survived from the past…you have over indulged in shopping, consumed food in excess, participated in family, friends, and other social activities in abundance, and of course sampled many libations.
But now it’s the ‘morning after’ and:
- decorations need to be packed up
- pounds need to be shed
- debt needs to be repaid
- gifts need to be returned
- liver needs to be detoxed
- family relations need to be stabilized etc
So basically all of the negative carryovers from the holiday season without the joy and sparkle. It is normal to feel blue and sad when the jubilations come to an end. Having places to go and people to see makes every one of us feel loved and cared for. But when it’s over and normal life starts back up withdrawal symptoms can occur.
The cure can be found by going back to the basics of the Five Love Languages written by Gary D. Chapman.
I present to you a new spin on the five love languages and how you can give the love you need to yourself
- Touch – cuddle with your pet,
- Words of affirmation – meditate on what you value about you
- Gifts – buy yourself a gift that you didn’t get or give yourself a gift of time and spend one hour they way you want to
- Quality time – exercise, visit museums, hike with friends
- Acts of service – cook clean food, organize your closet, volunteer
Also consider how much time you spent perusing social media. Did you, like many others, compare yourself to your Facebook Friends? If you did your mood can significantly be negatively affected by the feeling of not measuring up or being excluded. Digital and social media addiction is real and extremely prevalent over the holidays. It makes you aware of the party you were not invited to or family vacations that your friends took which were soooo much nicer then your trip up North to visit Aunt Bertha. Start your year off by swearing of social media and watch your mood improve.
Another good antidote to the post holiday blues is to plan a party. Valentines Day is coming up soon, the Oscars give a good reason to get a group together, or even random Sunday for brunch. Give yourself something to look forward and help your creative energy find a new purpose.
Maybe your down mood is a sign that it is time to see a therapist to deal with your underlying depression. Therapy can be short term and solution focused. You will learn more about yourself and how you show up in the world. Discovering new coping skills will make life more pleasant and normal irritants will seem less bothersome.
It’s a new year … reinvent the new you!
https://marinaedelman.com
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Aug 5, 2015 | Blog
[heading animation=”” color=”” type=”1″ align=”left”]Are you being fake or trying to modify your behavior[/heading]
The Atlantic recently tweeted about Drake, Taylor Swift, and why it pays to be fake . The article focuses on being a celebrity but the concept is worth examining. Acting “as if” is a common therapeutic intervention used to modify behavior. The intervention is simple, we can create new circumstances by acting “as if” they already exist; for example, we can be confident by acting as if we are confident. It sounds very simple and magical, however practiced in conjunction with other cognitive behavioral tools it can be very effective. This principal is useful to couples who want to create relationship 2.0 or individuals who are ready to replace their non-effective coping tools.
Acting “as-if” is a powerful tool if used properly. Here is DIY list:
- Identify what you want to change
- Determine what actions, thoughts, and feelings are related to your change
- Pretend to be the person who already has what you want is what you want to be. For example, what would a person who is happy be doing? How would she think and feel?
Fake it till you make is an old concept. Think about it, since it’s been around for so long maybe there is some legitimacy to it. You have nothing to lose but old habits!
