There is an absolute necessity to maintain focus in any type of sports; be it golf, tennis or soccer. Even at work or in life generally, maintaining focus is very important. Sports is a task you do for satisfaction and that needs physical skill or struggle, normally done in a special location and in accordance with fixed rules. The ability to maintain concentration in the present and remain focused on this task is key in achieving optimal performance.
As a competition progresses, an athlete frequently turns his or her concentration on and off with the competition’s flow and ebb. And with this attitude of switching concentration on and off, getting into a rhythm becomes a bigger difficulty. Total concentration is highly necessary in any sports, and this happens when an athlete gets totally involved in an activity, feels that there is suspension of time, and gets rid of a sense of separation from his or her surroundings.
The absolute ability to control attention to a significant thought, object, or feeling is a major element for keen focus in any task. Athletes must also possess an ability to ignore or restrict distraction or insignificant thoughts to maintain focus. These qualities will trigger optimal performance by athletes during a competition.
There is a tendency for athletes to get distracted during sports. Most times, irrelevant cues are the main causes of these distractions. An example of these distractions is the persistent thought about future outcomes of the game. The first step to take in preventing or conquering these distractions is for athletes to recognize immediately when they are off task and take necessary action. In taking necessary action, athletes must develop the ability to refocus on the actual relevant cues whenever these distractions occur. This requires the athlete to fix or narrow his or her attention. A great way through which athletes can refocus on relevant cues when distracting thoughts come to mind, is by convincing themselves to suspend thoughts about the final outcome, such a thoughts will not help them in any way at the moment; rather, it may trigger anxiety and unnecessary pressure in them which may hinder optimal performance. Irrelevant cues also include thoughts not related to the present game; for example, athletes may be thinking about what to have for dinner, a project that must be finished the next day, or how tough the next opponent will be if they win. Athletes can overcome such distracting thoughts by going back to putting their full focus on the present task. Putting their full focus on the present task or refocusing requires athletes asking themselves a question such as, “What exactly do I need to do at the moment to perform and deliver my best?”
For years, focus has been misunderstood by athletes as concentrating on a particular thing for long period of time. This gross misconception should be eradicated and athletes should now be educated that focus actually means concentrating only on relevant cues in your sports field. With this, athletes would be free from distractions that prevent them from giving their best in any game.
The holidays provide us with a valuable opportunity to spend time with friends and family, but they can also provide us with a great deal of anxiety and stress. Fortunately, there are a few ways to reduce the level of strain that we place on our mind states during the holidays, so be sure to read on and learn more.
Ditch The Perfectionism
There is a pervasive sense that the holidays have to unfold perfectly or else they are a failure. However, even the best laid plans tend to go awry and by allowing yourself to let go of the idea that things can be “perfect”, you are able to embrace all of the best aspects of the season, as opposed to worrying yourself sick trying to live up to some ideal that doesn’t even exist.
Don’t become excessively focused on the result. Train your focus on the process and enjoy every minute of it. Even if things do not go the exact way that you expect, you can still derive maximum happiness from your holiday season. After all, the destination is never as important as the journey that you will take to get there.
Be Grateful
The holidays only come once a year and the ability to regularly spend time with our loved ones is something that we tend to lose out on as we grow older. That is why we need to be truly grateful during this time of year, especially when we find ourselves becoming stressed out and anxious. Stress and anxiety only serves to keep us from the true meaning of the season.
Taking the holidays for granted is how stress ends up being magnified. When you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed, stop and take a moment to think about your true objectives. Chances are, they have very little to do with buying the nicest gifts or preparing the fanciest meal.
Make a Budget and Stick To It
When it comes time for your holiday shopping, it is in your best interests to make a budget and stick to it, so that you are not spending money that you do not have and causing additional stress and anxiety. Making a list of each person that you have to purchase a gift for is a great way to keep spending to a minimum.
Truly savvy shoppers who wish to avoid stress will even start their shopping early. There are a plethora of after holiday sales that can get you started for the next year and by keeping your eyes peeled throughout the year, you can significantly reduce the amount of work that you will need to do once December rolls around. As an added bonus, you can also reduce those unsightly credit card bills that arrive in your mailbox come January.
When we are in a relationship with our spouse or significant other, we often fall into the trap of believing that it is supposed to be hard. After all, anything worth having is worth working for, right? Couples who have begun to struggle start to think that relationships are meant to be hard, until they realize that there are a number of simple solutions available.
Marriage counseling is always a great way to mend any fences that have been damaged in a relationship. Relationships can seem difficult when we are the ones who are forced to deal with the ups and downs on an everyday basis, since it can become hard to see the bigger picture. Being immersed in the smaller details of a relationship has a way of doing that to us.
By being willing to head to counseling and engage in therapy, we can learn more about our relationship from an outsider’s perspective. A marriage or relationship counselor is not there to take sides or assign blame to one party or another. Their job is to listen to what both sides have to say and provide them with the tools that they need to make their future disagreements more productive.
Having a relationship that is 100 percent free of arguments is essentially impossible and there is no real way to do so. Arguments are how couples grow together and learn more about one another, as opposed to couples who avoid them completely, allowing themselves to slowly grow apart over the course of their relationship.
Therapy teaches us how to have these arguments in a way that helps us to better understand each other and it also teaches us how to walk a mile in the other person’s shoes. We often lack a certain amount of empathy in our relationships and when we engage in therapeutic exercises, it gives us the chance to take a look at things through our partner’s point of view.
Relationships do not have to be hard, but that does not mean that either member of a couple should expect their relationship to run smoothly without putting in any sort of effort. Couples who wish to make their efforts count should rely on the assistance of an experienced therapist, so that they can sort through all of their assorted feelings and emotions without endangering the connection that they’ve built.
If you find that you and your significant other or spouse is struggling to communicate, you’ll want to make changes immediately. Don’t make the mistake of believing that you can work through every problem without assistance. We all need help sometimes and with couples therapy, the issues that you are currently going through can become a thing of the past.
For many of us, feelings of being overwhelmed are all too common and when we allow our to do list to grow too long, we can become confused or even bewildered. Fortunately, there are a variety of ways to reduce these feelings and make them a thing of the past. Read on to learn more about the following helpful tips that will allow you to properly prioritize.
Create a List
Creating a to do list is an important first step that gives you the chance to prioritize before you’ve even had a chance to become overwhelmed. By listing your tasks in a manner that indicates which ones are most crucial, you can tackle your biggest issues first and avoid the issues that come with procrastination. Procrastination is often borne out of indecision and creating a to do list also gives us a great sense of accomplishment as we cross each off each individual item.
Multitasking Is a No No
While multitasking gives us a sense that we are accomplishing more, this is an illusion, an illusion that causes us to lose sight of the tasks that are most pivotal. When we attempt to multitask, we lose focus on the task at hand and our efforts become subpar as a result. In some instances, we are then forced to go back and re-do an item on our to do list, as opposed to being able to cross it off for good.
Play To Your Strengths
If there are certain tasks that you know you are more equipped to handle, these should be taken care of immediately, so you can start the ball rolling in a positive direction. This also keeps you from making the mistake of saving the simplest tasks for last. Tackling the tougher tasks once the easier ones have been completed gives us more time to take care of them, without having to feel overwhelmed.
Delegate When Possible
There is nothing wrong with asking for help and when we refuse to do so, we are placing our own backs against the wall in a needless manner. Regardless of what you are attempting to accomplish, there is nothing wrong with asking for assistance when needed. Prioritizing is not just about creating a to do list and checking off each item, it is about completing each task in the best possible way, without focusing on who gets the credit.
Give Yourself Breathing Room
When you have a variety of different tasks to accomplish, don’t make a plan for every single of the day. Be sure to give yourself plenty of breathing room in case things go wrong. There are always going to be factors that are beyond your control and by giving yourself breathing room, you can avoid feelings of being overwhelmed when they do.
Accountability partner is exactly what it sounds like. Recent article outlining what self made millionaires have in common, identified accountability partners as one of the the things they all shared (to read more https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/man-spent-5-years-studying-163000058.html). Engaging a neutral party to help you accomplish goals and keep you motivated is void of shame, disappointment and resentment. Key to success is being surrounded by people who hold you accountable and strategies with you to overcome obstacles.
Let me introduce you to your opponent. Not sure you have one, well then listen to the voice in your head that tells you to procrastinate, avoid working out and not to call your mother. They don’t call it a game of life for nothing. We are born with an opponent whose job it is to make us stronger and better but just like with any competition there will be trash talk and sabotage. Think of every day as a new game and from the morning decide who will win you or the opponent. Need extra help? Well that is where the accountability partner comes in. Although that person is great for getting started, but (s)he really comes in handy when your opponent tries to derail you from whatever you’re working on. You probably won’t see it coming, and that’s the moment when accountability truly becomes invaluable.
Top 5 qualities to look for in choosing someone to join you on your success journey:
They must be reliable, available, and responsive.
Honest and direct feedback is crucial.
They can put aside their agenda and not be judgmental.
Patience is key here.
They must attune to your needs and remember what you want them to hold you accountable for.
Our work together will first begin by defining accountability to make sure your needs are met. We will then define your ultimate goal and set benchmarks. At specific intervals we will review accomplishments and missteps. By attuning to your decision making process as well as motivation I will be able to tease out your strengths and weaknesses. The new found awareness will empower you to achieve your desired results.
“You are suggesting mediocracy!?” bellows my client with an anxiety disorder. We are taught to do our best in school; our coaches suggest for us to try our hardest; and society suggests striving for perfect looks. So when I introduce the concept of “good enough”, whether in parenting, career, or relationships, my clients usually balk at the notion.
Their reluctance to pull back is understandable, striving for perfectionism has been rewarded in the past. Worry and stress has resulted in success before, so why should they settle for second best. Anxiety is usually defined as a feeling of excessive worry, nervousness, or apprehension, usually associated with an upcoming event or something with an uncertain outcome. It makes an overachiever try their hardest to achieve the best result. There is nothing wrong with trying your best until, that is, your nervous system sends you signals to stop.
If you were an athlete training for a marathon you would push yourself beyond your comfort zone but also listen to your body for signs of overexertion. Your body will let you know when to modify your training in forms of achs or pain. Your mind does the same but with more subtlety. For instance, you will wake up in the middle of the night with your mind racing about things to do. Or, you will ruminate about something you said or did. At times you will develop irrational fears. These symptoms and more are all your mind’s way of asking you to make changes.
Is there a trade of? Ofcourse! The benefits of perfectionism is that you throw the best parties, everything always gets done, people are never disappointed, etc. The benefit of adopting the “good enough” philosophy is that you can enjoy your life more, you will be present with loved ones, your body and mind will be at peace.
People with anxiety usually struggle with priorities or know when to stop. When they cross one task of the list they pile on two more – sound familiar? Here are tips to try now:
Set a reasonable amount of time aside to work on a task. When the time expires stop working regardless if you feel you are done or not.
Do a reality check by asking yourself “what’s the worst thing that can happen”.
Own your inner critic. We usually are critical of others, by keeping that in check we become gentler with ourselves.
Allow and expect surprise mistakes.
Try new things that are not always efficient or effective like a new route to a familiar place.
Meditation, proper diet, and exercise will help symptoms of anxiety. Therapy is a very effective tool in helping with restructuring your thoughts, gaining awareness of your actions, and reducing feelings of worry and stress. For more information visit https://marinaedelman.com/anxiety/
.[heading animation=”” color=”” type=”1″ align=”left”]Celebrating Thanksgiving Holiday after divorce[/heading]
Post separation: A new tradition to be thankful for
Divorce/separation is an end to the the current nuclear family and a beginning to a new life. Family and friends can and should still be enjoyed. As Halloween candy is being put away look forward to Thanksgiving. This family focused holiday raises so many questions: “Who will I spend Thanksgiving with? (especially important for people who live near their soon to be ex-in-laws” “Will the kids want to spend the holidays with me or their other parent?” “What if I’m alone?” These questions are important part of the closure process and will help prepare you for the inevitable changes in your life.
Consider starting a new tradition of celebrating Friendsgiving. There’s something to be said for friends being the family you choose, as cliche as that sounds. Let’s start with listing 10 things you should be thankful for this year:
Reduced travel time
Avoiding prying aunts
Not dealing with unhealthy family dynamics
Celebrating sans drunk uncles
Not having to explain why your marriage ended
Opportunity to create a new tradition
Trying new food
Meeting new people
Learning new games like the Gratitude Jar
Having an opportunity to host if you so choose
Now that you found a new positive outlook on upcoming holiday lets look at ways to actually enjoy it:
Divorce is expensive and trying to recreate what was done in the past will keep you from moving forward. Try not to compete with your ex or yearn for what was but instead focus on what is.
If you have children remember to focus on them. Co-parenting during the holidays can be challenging, do whatever it takes to eliminate their exposure to your emotions, and maximize their holiday fun!
If you fear being alone, plan in advance a trip, a party, or find an opportunity to give back your community.
Decluttering your house is cathartic – out with the old and in with the new! Use the extra time you have to cleanse your mind by purging, dusting, and redecorating.
Create new traditions by getting creative and making some of your holiday gifts. Your loved ones will be touched by your efforts and you will keep busy.
Be flexible – so what if the rest of Americans are celebrating Thanksgiving on Thursday? Prioritize being with you children and not following the calendar.
Consider spending the day alone to focus on accepting your new life. Yoga, hikes, or sitting on the beach are all great ways to gain self awareness and acceptance.
Be open to still celebrating Thanksgiving with your ex. Who says you have to be enemies. Maybe that was the one time of the year that you got along and have wonderful memories. Enjoy them!
Make it simple. If you are used to cooking for an army and this year it’s a small gathering (kids and you) consider ordering Pizza and watching movies.
Get comfortable with splitting the day in half. Maybe your ex gets the kids for Thanksgiving lunch and you get to spend time with them during dinner
Whether you are celebrating Thanksgiving or Friendsgiving find the beauty in your new life and let negative feelings melt away.
