by Marina Edelman, LMFT | May 12, 2020 | coronavirus, friends
Whether your strongest friendships are local or long distance, the Covid-19 pandemic is changing how we connect with our friends. Sure, there are endless Zoom happy hours and socially distant porch hellos, but is that enough to maintain our friendships thriving long past the pandemic?
While apps like Facebook and What’s App are seeing more than 40% growth in use of their social platforms, it may not feel like your friendships are as fulfilling as usual. But there are ways to stay connected and keep your friendships thriving during social distancing. Here are just a few suggestions on how to maintain friendships while you’re apart.
Make a Point to Reach Out to Maintain Friendships
If you feel like you haven’t connected with your friends lately, it may simply be that you haven’t had a chance to reach out. Between working from home and teaching the kids, your days may be even busier than they were before.
Take a break from the craziness of the day and reach out to one or two friends. It can be a short text or an attempt at FaceTime while the kids are screaming in the background, but it’s a start. Just seeing your friend’s face on a screen or engaging with them via chat can help keep your connection alive.
Talk About Something Good
When you do reach out, it’s hard not to focus on the news of the day. But try to connect with your friends in the way you always did, whether that’s chatting about the latest TV show you’re binging on Netflix or your success with that sourdough starter you’ve been trying for years. Talking to friends about good things going on in your life or shared interests can both increase your mood and strengthen your connection so you don’t feel so distant.
Drop a Card in the Mail
Birthday parties, baby showers and anniversary celebrations may be on hold for now, but you can still show up for your friend during a time of celebration. Send a card or present in the mail to let your friend know you’re thinking of them. If you live close enough, you can even drop something off on their porch. Small gestures like that can go a long way toward making your friendships stronger in the long run.
Take Care of Yourself
One of the most important aspects of maintaining friendships is taking care of your own mental and physical health. When you’re healthy and happy, you’re more likely to want to reach out and engage with your friends. You’re also more likely to pick up the phone when someone calls and have a conversation.
Social distancing can feel socially isolating, but it doesn’t have to. If you’re finding it hard to connect with people during this time and feeling depressed or anxious, don’t be afraid to reach out. You can contact us anytime to make an appointment to talk through your feelings and feel connected again.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Apr 28, 2019 | anxiety, Blog, friends
“Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.” – Rachel Hollis.
Perspective is an interesting concept – it is a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. Everyone’s perspective is different. Everyone has shaped their own view of reality, and they perceive the ways that people treat them as good or bad. Even if the intention of the other person is not always to be good or bad. What if we suddenly changed our perspective of the way people treated us and just assumed that we were universally liked by everyone we meet? What would this do to our confidence, self-esteem, and general outlook on life? Would this perspective make us more social, more brave? More likely to do things that we normally wouldn’t? Would we be more willing to participate in more social occasions, therefore bringing more joy to our lives?
Confidence can do wonders for you! To build confidence, you need to change….your PERSPECTIVE. You need to assume that if someone is grumpy, or giving an attitude, that it has NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with their own situation. The saying “Assume they like you, and they will” is true! If you go in to a group setting, with an air of confidence, and the attitude that you are well-liked, then you will be!
Being afraid of rejection before being rejected is like poison to your confidence and slowly kills your chances of showing your true self. How can you show your wonderful personality through all that unwanted anxiety? How will people see how tremendous you are through all that fear? When you appear sheepish, scared, and afraid, you also start to obsess over what you say, and how you say it. This is not at all fun for you or for the group of friends you are trying to have a good time with.
Humans in nature are social creatures, and we have a need to belong somewhere. We need friends, loved ones, and people that are important to us, who we are also important to. There is an ongoing confusion between people needing to belong, and the NEED to belong consuming you. Sure, don’t obsess over people liking you. But know that you do need people in your life that are important to you. It doesn’t have to be a large group of people, but the value of people is great in your life.
If you come across as fearful of people rejecting you, then you are kind of coming across as fearful of people, in general. Remember that you are liked – from the very first meeting! Remember that your first impression will be enough, your first impression is luminous, your first impression is sensational!
If you feel you need help with your first impressions – here are five tips to making a good first impression. Just to boost that confidence level.
- Assume they already like you and they probably will.
- Treat them! Meet over food or coffee, if possible.
- Always shake their hand. Firm grip!
- Be Positive About Yourself!
- Show interest and ask questions about them.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Oct 22, 2018 | Blog
What do we all have in common? That we secretly love gossip. We love hearing it and passing it on. We spend millions to read gossip even when we know it’s not true. So why do we gossip, read Stanford research: Hidden benefits of gossip, ostracism.
Top 5 Benefits of Gossip
- Entertain each other
- Learn from others’ mistakes
- Relieves Stress
- It makes us feel good about ourselves
- It’s a form of self-protection.
#gossip #therapy #stress
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Oct 19, 2018 | Blog
Volunteering with friends is one of the best ways to insure you have a great weekend. Volunteering is good for your mind and body. It will give you purpose while stimulating your mind and getting your heart rate up. It combats depression, stress, anger, and anxiety. Doing it with friends adds a layer of fun and whimsy.
Some good places to volunteer:
Animal Shelters
Habitat for Humanity
Houses of worship
Post a picture of where you volunteered this weekend.
#volunteer #stress #friends #therapy #therapist
