by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Apr 13, 2026 | Blog
What Predicts Whether a Couple Survives Infidelity
It is not the strength of the relationship before—it is the response after.
Contrary to common assumptions, couples who survive infidelity are not necessarily those with the strongest relationships prior to betrayal.
They are the couples willing to engage in the most difficult emotional work afterward.
Key Predictors of Recovery
Avoiding minimization and fully acknowledging impact
Understanding underlying relational dynamics
Trust is reconstructed through repeated, consistent behavior
Both partners engage emotionally in the repair process
What Does Not Predict Recovery
- longevity of the relationship
- intensity of prior love
- absence of conflict
The Role of Emotional Safety
Recovery depends on restoring a sense of safety—not just ending the affair.
- Crisis stabilization
- Meaning-making
- Reconnection
Couples Therapist in California
Marina Edelman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of TrueMe® Counseling, a couples and relationship therapy practice serving clients in Westlake Village, Thousand Oaks, and throughout California.
Marina specializes in couples therapy, affair recovery, and relationship repair, drawing on a carefully integrated set of evidence-based approaches:
Her counseling is best suited for couples and individuals seeking structured, research-backed support for relationship repair, affair recovery, anxiety, communication challenges, and premarital or marriage counseling — in person or via telehealth across California.
As a Founder of TrueMe Counseling, Marina proudly works with the following therapists with additional specialties:
These therapists see clients in Culver City, and Westlake Village Office as well as virtually all throughout California.
Individuals | Grief | Families | Trauma
Cheryl Baldi is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology who works with individuals, couples, and families in a warm, empathetic, and collaborative environment.
Specializations: Anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, hopelessness, and family systems.
Best suited for: Individuals who feel stuck in unhealthy patterns and are looking for a compassionate, strengths-based therapist to help them build practical tools and reclaim a more peaceful life.
Trauma | Kids & Teens | Families
Dr. Rachel Chistyakov brings both doctoral-level training in psychology and LMFT licensure to her work with couples, families, children, and individuals. Her practice centers on healing, connection, and emotional insight.
Specializations: Trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, family therapy, and specialized work with children and teenagers.
Best suited for: Individuals and families seeking a highly credentialed therapist with broad clinical range, including parents looking for specialized support for children and adolescents.
Individuals | Men's Issues | Substance Abuse
Chris Calandra is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist offering grounded, non-judgmental support to individuals and couples navigating anxiety, relationship tension, addiction, and feeling stuck.
Specializations: Anxiety, substance use and addiction, relationship issues, and men's mental health.
Best suited for: Individuals who want direct, down-to-earth support and are ready to do meaningful work. Particularly well-suited for men who may be approaching therapy for the first time.
Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Therapy
Explore answers to frequently asked questions about the benefits and processes of couples therapy.
What issues can couples therapy help with?
Couples therapy can help with communication issues, emotional disconnection, infidelity, and conflict patterns.
Is online therapy effective?
Yes—research shows online therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions for many couples.
What approach do you use?
I integrate Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method, both research-backed approaches.
Healing is less about returning to what existed before—and more about creating a different, more secure relational dynamic.
You’re not just choosing a partner—you’re choosing the emotional environment you live in.
If your relationship feels disconnected, stuck, or uncertain, therapy can help you understand what’s happening and how to move forward.
Learn more or schedule a consultation at MarinaEdelman.com
Rebuild Emotional Intimacy Today
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Apr 1, 2025 | couples counseling, marriage, mediation, Uncategorized
When Love Moves Out but the Lease Remains
Discover strategies to manage the complexities of navigating relationship transitions due to financial ties like leases, and learn how to regain your independence and happiness through clean and solution oriented communication strategies.
Understanding Relationship Stuckness
Many couples find themselves feeling trapped in relationships due to financial commitments such as shared leases or joint financial obligations. These situations can create a sense of helplessness and strain on the relationship. As a Gottman Level 3 trained licensed marriage and family therapist, I specialize in helping couples navigate these challenges. My practice focuses on empowering individuals to make informed decisions about their relationships, ensuring both emotional and financial well-being.
While shared leases can create challenging transitions, remembering the temporary nature of the situation helps maintain perspective. With clear communication, established boundaries, and forward planning, this period can be navigated with minimal additional stress.
Financial entanglements like a shared lease can create a false sense of obligation to remain in an unfulfilling relationship. What’s truly needed is honest communication about both parties’ needs and boundaries. Creating a practical exit strategy that addresses lease obligations can help transform what feels like being ‘trapped’ into an empowering transition plan that respects both partners.
I was named a local expert on ApartmentGuide. Read the full article here: Stuck In a Relationship Because of a Lease? Here’s What Experts Prescribe. https://www.apartmentguide.com/blog/stuck-in-a-relationship-because-of-a-lease/
ApartmentGuide is a subsidiary of Redfin.com
Navigating Financially Tied Relationships
In today’s housing market, financial practicality often means couples move in together earlier in relationships than previous generations. While this arrangement works beautifully for many, it creates unique challenges when relationships end but lease agreements don’t. The emotional complexity of a breakup becomes intertwined with practical housing considerations, creating a situation where many feel “stuck” in proximity to an ex-partner.
As housing costs continue to rise in metropolitan areas, this scenario becomes increasingly common. According to recent surveys, nearly 40% of adults have continued living with a partner after deciding to end their relationship, primarily citing financial constraints and lease obligations as the determining factors.
This blog explores strategies for maintaining your emotional wellbeing while navigating the practical realities of shared leases during relationship transitions.
How can financial obligations affect my relationship?
Financial obligations can create stress and tension, leading to feelings of being trapped. It’s important to communicate openly about financial concerns and seek professional guidance if needed.
What steps can we take to address feeling stuck?
Start by having an honest conversation about your feelings and financial situation. Consider seeking therapy to explore your options and develop a plan that prioritizes both partners’ needs.
Is it possible to renegotiate a lease if we decide to separate?
Yes, many landlords are willing to negotiate lease terms if both parties agree. It may involve finding a replacement tenant or paying a fee, but it’s worth exploring to alleviate the financial burden.
Can financial therapy help us manage our obligations better?
Absolutely. Financial therapy can provide tools and strategies to manage your financial commitments more effectively, reducing stress and improving your relationship dynamics.
When facing a lease constraint in a relationship that's ending, consider these primary options:
Breaking a lease typically involves financial penalties but provides the cleanest separation.
Considerations:
- Review your lease agreement for early termination clauses
- Calculate the total cost of breaking the lease (typically 1-2 months’ rent plus security deposit)
- Determine if either party can afford to take on this cost alone or if it will be shared
- Consider whether the emotional benefits outweigh the financial penalties
Many lease agreements allow for subletting or assigning the lease to new tenants, with landlord approval.
Considerations:
- Review lease terms regarding subletting and assignment rights
- Understand the process for landlord approval of new tenants
- Determine who will move out and who will stay
- Address how the security deposit will be handled
- Establish clear timelines for the transition
Cont. Cohabitation w/Boundaries
For those with longer leases or significant financial constraints, continuing to live together may be necessary, but with clearly established boundaries.
Considerations:
- Establish clear agreements about shared spaces, private areas, and schedules
- Create systems for managing shared expenses
- Set expectations about guests and new relationships
- Develop communication protocols for addressing issues that arise
Relationship and Financial Advice
Feeling trapped in a relationship due to financial ties can be overwhelming. Reach out today for a personalized consultation to explore your options and find a path forward.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Jan 1, 2025 | couples counseling, Uncategorized
Unlock the Power of Shared Dreams
Become the IT Couple: Manifest Your Marital Goals
As a Los Angels couples therapist, I find that starting of the New Year with intention for your relationship can be transformative. By combining the Gottman Method with Joe Dispenza’s manifestation principles, my template will help you achieve your relationship and life goals.
Introducing the marriage manifestation template
Harnessing the Power of Connection and Manifestation
The Marriage Manifestation Template is a unique tool that integrates the principles of the Gottman Method and Joe Dispenza’s manifestation techniques. This innovative approach helps couples align their aspirations, fostering a deeper emotional connection and a shared vision for the future. By visualizing and articulating your goals together, you create a powerful synergy that enhances both personal and relational growth.
Benefits of a Marriage Manifestation Template
Creating shared dreams offers numerous benefits, including strengthening emotional bonds and clarifying shared goals. It acts as a visual reminder of your commitments, helping to keep both partners aligned and motivated. This practice not only enhances communication but also fosters a sense of unity and purpose, making it easier to navigate challenges and celebrate achievements together.
Enhancing Relationship Dynamics
Integrating Manifestation to create 2025 Marriage Goals
Begin by discussing and identifying common aspirations that both partners wish to manifest together.
Daily Gratitude Practice. Create affirmations that align with your shared vision
Love Maps, nurture fondness, turn towards, accept influence, break gridlock
Set Small, Achievable Goals.
Track progress.
Crafting Your Vision for the Future
Creating a Marriage Manifestation template is a powerful tool that combines the insights of the Gottman Method with the transformative principles of Joe Dispenza’s manifestation techniques. By visualizing your shared goals, you and your partner can strengthen your relationship and align your aspirations. This process not only enhances communication but also fosters a deeper connection, paving the way for a harmonious future together.
Take the first step towards realizing your dreams by dedicating time to craft your vision. Embrace the journey of discovery and collaboration, and watch as your shared dreams begin to manifest. Remember, the key to success lies in your commitment and openness to growth. Start today and witness the positive changes unfold in your life.
Explore the Possibilities
Ready to dive deeper into the world of manifestation and the Gottman Method? Schedule a session and learn how this powerful tool can enhance your relationship and personal growth. Our sessions are designed to provide you with the skills and insights needed to create a meaningful and beautiful marriage.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Feb 4, 2021 | couples, marriage
VALENTINES DAY! Thinking outside of the heart shaped box.
Finally, February is here! Love is in the air; romance is nearly in full bloom as the most romantic holiday of the year is quickly approaching. It’s no secret, as local drug store aisles are bursting with pink and red heart shaped chocolates, teddy bears, and somewhere in the rows and rows of sentimental parchment awaits the perfect card, with the perfect words, just waiting to express to your chosen one your deepest love and devotion.
Valentine’s Day has been commercialized
Valentine’s Day sometimes gets a bad rap as an overly commercial holiday exclusively for those who are in committed romantic relationships. Even then sometimes those who are in said relationships often have different expectations of the highly anticipated V-day leading to less than desirable outcomes. Singles and couples alike have questioned the need for there to be one specific day of the year to celebrate love when in reality we human types need doses of love on the daily. On Valentine’s Day, love may be in the air…but sometimes so is anxiety.
Feelings surrounding Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day may bring up varying degrees of excitement, expectation, melancholy or even fear, depending on the age and state of your relationship, or lack thereof. And then there is social media, bursting at the seams with perfect images of gorgeous couples celebrating in the oh-so ideal way. Breathe. It can all be well, and well… even blissful, in a way that suits your unique circumstances.
Social interaction can have a significant influence on mental health and psychological well-being on Valentine’s Day, as well as the other 364 days of the year. No matter your relationship status, you can celebrate by reaching out and connecting with those who matter the most to you. Whether you’re married, dating, single, or consciously un-coupled, Valentine’s Day can be for anyone interested in a day of highlighting love and connection.
But I am single on Valentine’s Day
Are you single and have other single friends? Make plans to connect. Physical distance does not have to mean “social” distance in the days of Zoom. Are all of your friends in relationships? Do something special with family, or reach out to someone that you know may be in need. Giving can be a wonderful way to not only to help someone else, but it will also in turn increase your well-being at the same time.
Finally, Valentine’s Day can be an excellent opportunity to show love to the one who needs it the most. Yourself. Who better to celebrate with then the one with whom you have been in a relationship the longest? Self-love can be the best way to spend the “all hearts day” by piling on the self-care. This can be done according to your own desire: getting flowers or a special gift for yourself, doing something you’ve always wanted to do, or maybe doing nothing at all because with your very busy schedule: it is about time.
Valentine’s Day can be amazing for couples but remember, it’s not just for couples. Family, friends, and especially you can get special treatment and much-deserved attention making this a very special, and LOVEly day.
No matter how you choose to celebrate your personal version of love and connection- Happy Valentine’s Day!
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Sharalee Hall is Marina Edelman’s associate. She has experience working with couples struggling to create a loving marriage. She is currently accepting new clients via tele therapy.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Apr 3, 2020 | Blog, couples, marriage
Sitcoms lead us to believe that women pretend to have headaches to avoid sex. But more and more often I encounter couples where the man is either not interested or is unable to perform sexually.
Whether it’s you or your spouse who doesn’t want to initiate sex, falling into the trap of a sexless marriage is dangerous. It can lead to depression, unhappiness in your marriage, and both physical and emotional affairs. About 15-20% of people are in a sexless marriage — and sometimes they don’t even know why.
It’s easy to blame busy schedules and lack of time, but you can always schedule in time to be intimate. So what is leading to all these platonic marriages? And how do you bring passion back?
What leads to a sexless marriage?
Between work and kids and life, it’s easy to come up with excuses for not wanting to be intimate with your spouse. But the longer it continues, the harder it can be to reconnect and feel passionate again.
The quicker you can determine what’s causing your lack of intimacy, the faster you can work on fixing the problem.
Medical problems
Medical problems are a good place to start when it comes to determining why you or your partner have zero libido. Often hormone deficiencies like low testosterone can lower your sex drive.
Loss of libido is also linked to conditions like depression, high blood pressure, and diabetes. Certain medications, including antidepressants, can cause you to lose interest in sex.
Stress
Stress makes you feel sluggish, which in turn affects your metabolism and weight and inadvertently leads to poor body image. Stress also affects your body by overproducing a hormone called cortisol that directly reduces your libido.
Emotional disconnection
People often think that a loss of interest in sex means their partner is no longer physically attracted to them. But reduced attraction usually has less to do with appearance and more to do with unexpressed and unresolved unhappiness in the relationship or marriage. When you feel emotionally detached from your partner, it’s hard to want to be physically intimate.
Lack of romance
This can go hand-in-hand with emotional disconnection. A lack of romance often leads to a lack of intimacy. If you think back to when your relationship first started, there were probably a lot of romantic gestures that made you feel close to and engaged by your partner. When these go away, it can be harder to feel the excitement and connection that lead to sex.
Poor communication
Unless you talk to your partner about how their lack of interest affects you, they may have no idea. Failing to communicate your needs and desires can directly impact how often you have sex.
Fixing a sexless marriage
Maybe you haven’t had sex with your spouse for months, or even years. Once you get into the routine of not having sex, it can seem impossible to fix. But you can find your way back to each other and reignite connection and passion in your relationship.
The first thing to do is talk. Talk about your sexual needs and how they aren’t being fulfilled. Just the act of talking alone can lead to the closeness and connection that may have been missing.
Learn to reduce your stress. Stress management is an important step in bringing intimacy back into your relationship. When you can let go of some of those things that bring you the most stress, you leave yourself more open to spend time with your partner and be relaxed.
Check in with your doctor. Get a check up at the doctor to rule out underlying medical conditions or have your meds changed. Once medical problems are ruled out, then issues such as stress, mood, and marital satisfaction can be addressed.
Get counseling. Talking through issues of intimacy may be hard for you or your partner for many reasons. Connecting with a couples therapist can help you learn to talk about the issues that have led to your sexless marriage and help you find ways to be intimate again. Tools like Gottman’s online marriage assessment can help me quickly hone in on issues in your marriage. Together, we can work on addressing those issues so you feel closer again.
Bring back the romance. Romance doesn’t have to be grand gestures or long weekends away. Those may not even be possible if you have a demanding job and kids. Romance could be laughing with your partner for a few minutes every night, picking up your spouse’s favorite food for dinner, or spending time on the patio listening to your favorite songs.
Change the emphasis. Men’s sexuality is often defined by society and themselves as the ability to perform on demand. If they can’t achieve an erection or climax, men often develop performance anxiety and become withdrawn, angry, or suppress sexual desires. Women often need more emotional connection when it comes to sex and may feel even more detached and self-conscious if they can’t get aroused as quickly as they once did.
Removing the emphasis from intercourse and refocusing on things like cuddling, foreplay, and flirting reduces the pressure and allows you to redefine your sexuality in a different context. By replacing intercourse with physical and emotional intimacy, a couple can actually reinvigorate their sex life and bring romance back into their marriage.
Don’t despair. If you’re with a compassionate, loving partner your sexless marriage can be transformed to a hot one in no time!
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Aug 8, 2019 | affair, couples, divorce, marriage
Women cheat and have affairs. They do. Even though it’s not as talked about as men, and in some ways, a lot more unacceptable in society, women do cheat. Why? Usually when women have their eyes set on their guy, it’s forever. She will stick by her man through thick and thin. So what would make a woman turn her back on her life with her current partner, and stray?
Below are various reasons why this would happen
- Women sometimes feel underappreciated, neglected, or ignored. Inadvertently, they feel more like a housekeeper, or nanny, than a wife or girlfriend. So they seek validation of their true selves outside of their current relationship. They want to be valued not for their casseroles, but for being women.
- They crave intimacy. Women tend to feel a connection to their significant other through other ways that does not involve sex. Situations that involve talking, having fun together, building a home and social life together usually make up their definition of intimacy. So when they don’t have this, they feel disconnected.
- She is not fulfilled by her current situation and feels overwhelmed and stressed. Studies have shown that even though some women were in very healthy, loving relationships, life’s stressors triggered a need to stray outside of their marriage.
- Loneliness can lead to affairs. Women can experience loneliness in a relationship for any number of reasons. Maybe their spouse works long hours or travels for business on a regular basis, or maybe their spouse is emotionally unavailable. When this happens, women will try to fill the void elsewhere.
- Unrealistic expectations. They expect their significant other to meet their every need 24/7, 365 days a year, and when that doesn’t happen, they seek attention elsewhere. They want it all, they need it all. All the attention, all the time. This is probably feeding into some kind of insecurity issue – or codependency issue that they may have.
- Childhood or early adulthood abuse. Sometimes women who experienced profound early-life (or adult) trauma, especially sexual trauma, will re-enact that trauma as a way of trying to master or control it.
- They’re not having enough satisfying sex at home. Not only men enjoy sex, this is a common misconception. Women also enjoy sex, and will seek it elsewhere if it’s not being given at home. Sex should be fun, and common, in a relationship. It’s a deep intimacy that allows partners to fully explore and connect to each other.
Women stray too. That’s a fact. When the needs of woman is not met, she will also find them elsewhere. At the end of the day, we are all human. Men, women, all humans. And we need to feel that love and connection, that desire, with our partner. We need to feel like they are all in, as we all should be. GIving love, support, and helping each other grow. Without the connection between two people, the relationship is sort of stagnant, and not growing. When a relationship grows stagnant, it becomes suffocating. Which will develop a need for a person to want to seek other means of love and connection elsewhere.
There is a way to affair proof your relationship. If you are considering betraying your partner, see a therapist first. Therapy can help you understand what is driving your unhappiness and come up with ways to talk to your partner about lack of fulfillment. Some things cannot be undone – an affair is one of them. Managing your impulses will help you not feel guilt and shame in the long run.
