by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Jun 19, 2025 | couples, couples counseling, marriage
Strengthen Your Bond with Premarital Counseling
Key Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Learn effective communication techniques to express your needs and listen to your partner.
Develop strategies to manage disagreements constructively and strengthen your partnership.
Understand each other’s values and goals to create a shared vision for your future together.
When to Start Premarital Counseling
The Right Time for Premarital Counseling: Research-Based Insights for Couples
Any Time Is the Right Time
As a marriage therapist, I’m often asked: “When should we start premarital counseling?” My answer is always the same: the best time to start is now, regardless of where you are in your relationship journey. Whether you’re newly engaged, planning your wedding, or even if you’re already married, investing in your relationship through counseling is never too early or too late.
Every relationship is unique, and couples bring different strengths, challenges, and histories to their partnership. Some couples benefit from counseling early in their engagement to establish strong communication patterns, while others may need support later to address specific concerns that have emerged. The key is recognizing that relationship education is an investment in your future together, not a sign that something is wrong.
Many couples hesitate to seek premarital counseling because they feel their relationship is “fine” or worry that it suggests problems. In reality, premarital counseling is preventive care for your relationship—much like regular health check-ups help prevent medical issues. The skills and insights gained through counseling serve as a foundation for navigating the inevitable challenges that all couples face.
What Research Says About Timing
While any time can be the right time, research does provide some guidance on optimal timing for premarital counseling. Studies indicate that to maximize the effects of premarital training, couples should start 4-6 months before marriage and focus on their specific needs for at least 6 weeks.
This timing recommendation makes practical sense for several reasons:
Four to Six Months Before Marriage allows couples to:
- Address any concerns that arise during the assessment process
- Practice new communication skills before the wedding stress intensifies
- Make informed decisions about their relationship without the pressure of immediate wedding plans
- Have time to work through any significant issues that surface during counseling
However, it’s important to note that this research-based timing is about optimization, not necessity. Couples who begin counseling closer to their wedding date, or even after marriage, can still experience significant benefits.
Duration and Structure: What the Research Shows
Premarital counseling generally lasts about 8-10 weeks, with couples meeting once per week on average. However, the duration can vary significantly based on several factors:
Factors Affecting Duration:
- Relationship history: Couples who have been together longer may need less time to explore fundamental compatibility issues
- Communication skills: Those with strong existing communication may require fewer sessions
- Specific challenges: Trust issues can require an extra 2-3 months of counseling to focus on both trust-building and effective communication
- Couple preferences: Some prefer to meet twice weekly for a shorter period, while others benefit from a slower pace
Typical Structure: Most programs involve several sessions lasting from a few weeks to a few months, allowing couples to have in-depth discussions and develop effective strategies. This timeframe provides adequate opportunity to:
- Complete comprehensive assessments
- Discuss key relationship topics
- Practice new skills
- Address any concerns that arise
The Evidence for Effectiveness
The research on premarital counseling effectiveness is compelling. Studies show that couples who participate in premarital education through programs like PREPARE/ENRICH reduce their risk for divorce by 31%. This significant reduction in divorce risk demonstrates the preventive power of relationship education.
Research also shows that nearly 66% of couples therapy clients complete therapy within 20 sessions, highlighting the effectiveness of structured and consistent counseling. This completion rate suggests that most couples find value in the process and are willing to invest the time needed to strengthen their relationship.
Key Topics in Premarital Counseling
Benefits from Premarital Counseling?
Practical Recommendations
Start When You’re Ready, Not When You’re “Supposed To” While research suggests optimal timing, the most important factor is your readiness as a couple to engage in the process. Some couples benefit from starting counseling early in their relationship, while others find it most helpful during engagement.
Consider Your Specific Circumstances
- If you’re dealing with significant stressors (family issues, career changes, etc.), you might benefit from starting earlier to develop coping strategies
- If you have a short engagement, don’t let that stop you—even brief premarital counseling can be beneficial
- If you’re already married, consider it marriage enrichment rather than premarital counseling
Focus on Prevention, Not Problems Remember that seeking premarital counseling is a proactive step toward building a strong marriage. You don’t need to wait for problems to arise—in fact, it’s better if you don’t.
Be Consistent and Engaged Whether you have 6 weeks or 6 months, consistency in attendance and active engagement in the process are more important than the total duration.
Conclusion
The research provides helpful guidelines about timing and duration for premarital counseling, but the most important message is this: there is no wrong time to invest in your relationship. Whether you start 6 months before your wedding or 6 months after, the skills and insights gained through premarital counseling can strengthen your partnership and increase your chances of long-term happiness.
As a marriage therapist, I encourage all couples to view premarital counseling not as a requirement or a problem-solving measure, but as a gift to your future selves. The tools you develop, the deeper understanding you gain, and the communication skills you practice will serve you well throughout your marriage. The research is clear: couples who invest in premarital education have stronger, more resilient relationships.
Addressing Common Concerns About Premarital Counseling
Many couples worry that attending premarital counseling might suggest their relationship is flawed. However, it is a proactive step towards building a strong and resilient partnership. Counseling provides a safe space to explore important topics and develop skills that will benefit the relationship long-term.
Does premarital counseling mean our relationship is in trouble?
No, premarital counseling is not an indication of a troubled relationship. It is a proactive measure to strengthen your bond and prepare for a successful marriage. Many couples find it a valuable investment in their future together.
Will counseling bring up issues we can't resolve?
Counseling is designed to help you address potential issues constructively. A skilled therapist will guide you in navigating difficult topics, fostering understanding, and finding mutually agreeable solutions.
Is premarital counseling only for couples with problems?
Not at all. Premarital counseling is for any couple looking to enhance their relationship. It provides tools and strategies to help you communicate better, manage conflicts, and build a strong foundation for marriage.
The Impact of Premarital Counseling
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Couples Report Improved Communication
95%
95%
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Reduction in Divorce Rates
85%
85%
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Increased Relationship Satisfaction
75%
75%
Start Your Journey to a Stronger Relationship
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Apr 1, 2025 | couples counseling, marriage, mediation, Uncategorized
When Love Moves Out but the Lease Remains
Discover strategies to manage the complexities of navigating relationship transitions due to financial ties like leases, and learn how to regain your independence and happiness through clean and solution oriented communication strategies.
Understanding Relationship Stuckness
Many couples find themselves feeling trapped in relationships due to financial commitments such as shared leases or joint financial obligations. These situations can create a sense of helplessness and strain on the relationship. As a Gottman Level 3 trained licensed marriage and family therapist, I specialize in helping couples navigate these challenges. My practice focuses on empowering individuals to make informed decisions about their relationships, ensuring both emotional and financial well-being.
While shared leases can create challenging transitions, remembering the temporary nature of the situation helps maintain perspective. With clear communication, established boundaries, and forward planning, this period can be navigated with minimal additional stress.
Financial entanglements like a shared lease can create a false sense of obligation to remain in an unfulfilling relationship. What’s truly needed is honest communication about both parties’ needs and boundaries. Creating a practical exit strategy that addresses lease obligations can help transform what feels like being ‘trapped’ into an empowering transition plan that respects both partners.
I was named a local expert on ApartmentGuide. Read the full article here: Stuck In a Relationship Because of a Lease? Here’s What Experts Prescribe. https://www.apartmentguide.com/blog/stuck-in-a-relationship-because-of-a-lease/
ApartmentGuide is a subsidiary of Redfin.com
Navigating Financially Tied Relationships
In today’s housing market, financial practicality often means couples move in together earlier in relationships than previous generations. While this arrangement works beautifully for many, it creates unique challenges when relationships end but lease agreements don’t. The emotional complexity of a breakup becomes intertwined with practical housing considerations, creating a situation where many feel “stuck” in proximity to an ex-partner.
As housing costs continue to rise in metropolitan areas, this scenario becomes increasingly common. According to recent surveys, nearly 40% of adults have continued living with a partner after deciding to end their relationship, primarily citing financial constraints and lease obligations as the determining factors.
This blog explores strategies for maintaining your emotional wellbeing while navigating the practical realities of shared leases during relationship transitions.
How can financial obligations affect my relationship?
Financial obligations can create stress and tension, leading to feelings of being trapped. It’s important to communicate openly about financial concerns and seek professional guidance if needed.
What steps can we take to address feeling stuck?
Start by having an honest conversation about your feelings and financial situation. Consider seeking therapy to explore your options and develop a plan that prioritizes both partners’ needs.
Is it possible to renegotiate a lease if we decide to separate?
Yes, many landlords are willing to negotiate lease terms if both parties agree. It may involve finding a replacement tenant or paying a fee, but it’s worth exploring to alleviate the financial burden.
Can financial therapy help us manage our obligations better?
Absolutely. Financial therapy can provide tools and strategies to manage your financial commitments more effectively, reducing stress and improving your relationship dynamics.
When facing a lease constraint in a relationship that's ending, consider these primary options:
Breaking a lease typically involves financial penalties but provides the cleanest separation.
Considerations:
- Review your lease agreement for early termination clauses
- Calculate the total cost of breaking the lease (typically 1-2 months’ rent plus security deposit)
- Determine if either party can afford to take on this cost alone or if it will be shared
- Consider whether the emotional benefits outweigh the financial penalties
Many lease agreements allow for subletting or assigning the lease to new tenants, with landlord approval.
Considerations:
- Review lease terms regarding subletting and assignment rights
- Understand the process for landlord approval of new tenants
- Determine who will move out and who will stay
- Address how the security deposit will be handled
- Establish clear timelines for the transition
Cont. Cohabitation w/Boundaries
For those with longer leases or significant financial constraints, continuing to live together may be necessary, but with clearly established boundaries.
Considerations:
- Establish clear agreements about shared spaces, private areas, and schedules
- Create systems for managing shared expenses
- Set expectations about guests and new relationships
- Develop communication protocols for addressing issues that arise
Relationship and Financial Advice
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Feeling trapped in a relationship due to financial ties can be overwhelming. Reach out today for a personalized consultation to explore your options and find a path forward.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Feb 3, 2025 | Blog, couples, couples counseling
Navigating Love and Finances
The Impact of Money on Relationships
Explore how financial dynamics shape your relationship and discover tools to foster open communication about money matters.
The Role of Money in Relationships
Why Couples Should Talk About Money
Money is often a significant source of tension in relationships, affecting everything from daily interactions to long-term planning. Financial disagreements can lead to stress, mistrust, and even separation if not addressed properly. It’s crucial for couples to engage in honest conversations about their financial goals, spending habits, and budgeting strategies to build a strong, unified partnership.
By discussing money openly, couples can align their values and priorities, reducing misunderstandings and fostering a supportive environment. This dialogue is essential for creating a shared vision for the future, ensuring both partners feel heard and respected in financial decisions.
Understanding Financial Therapy
The Benefits of Financial Therapy
Financial Therapy is a transformative approach that combines emotional support with practical financial guidance. It helps individuals and couples address the emotional and psychological aspects of money management, leading to healthier financial behaviors and improved relationship dynamics. By working with a financial therapist such as Marina Edelman, couples can learn to navigate financial stressors, enhance communication, and develop a more harmonious approach to managing their finances together.
Essential Financial Discussions
- What are our financial goals?
- How do we manage our budget?
- What are our spending habits?
- How do we handle debt?
- What is our savings strategy?
- How do we plan for retirement?
- What are our priorities for major purchases?
- How do we approach financial emergencies?
- What are our views on financial independence?
- How do we communicate about money?
- What is our investment strategy?
- How do we balance individual and joint finances?
- How do we handle financial disagreements?
- What is our plan for financial education?
- How do we support each other’s financial goals?
- What are our expectations for financial roles?
- How do we track our financial progress?
- What are our plans for charitable giving?
Transform Your Relationship with Financial Therapy
Discover how financial therapy can strengthen your relationship by addressing money matters with clarity and compassion. Take the first step towards a healthier financial future together.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Jan 1, 2025 | couples counseling, Uncategorized
Unlock the Power of Shared Dreams
Become the IT Couple: Manifest Your Marital Goals
As a Los Angels  couples therapist, I find that starting of the New Year with intention for your relationship  can be transformative. By combining the Gottman Method with Joe Dispenza’s manifestation principles, my template will help you achieve your relationship and life goals.
Introducing the marriage manifestation template
Harnessing the Power of Connection and Manifestation
The Marriage Manifestation Template is a unique tool that integrates the principles of the Gottman Method and Joe Dispenza’s manifestation techniques. This innovative approach helps couples align their aspirations, fostering a deeper emotional connection and a shared vision for the future. By visualizing and articulating your goals together, you create a powerful synergy that enhances both personal and relational growth.
Benefits of a Marriage Manifestation Template
Creating shared dreams offers numerous benefits, including strengthening emotional bonds and clarifying shared goals. It acts as a visual reminder of your commitments, helping to keep both partners aligned and motivated. This practice not only enhances communication but also fosters a sense of unity and purpose, making it easier to navigate challenges and celebrate achievements together.
Enhancing Relationship Dynamics
Integrating Manifestation to create 2025 Marriage Goals
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Begin by discussing and identifying common aspirations that both partners wish to manifest together.
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Daily Gratitude Practice. Create affirmations that align with your shared vision
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Love Maps, nurture fondness, turn towards, accept influence, break gridlock
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Set Small, Achievable Goals.
Track progress.
Crafting Your Vision for the Future
Creating a Marriage Manifestation template is a powerful tool that combines the insights of the Gottman Method with the transformative principles of Joe Dispenza’s manifestation techniques. By visualizing your shared goals, you and your partner can strengthen your relationship and align your aspirations. This process not only enhances communication but also fosters a deeper connection, paving the way for a harmonious future together.
Take the first step towards realizing your dreams by dedicating time to craft your vision. Embrace the journey of discovery and collaboration, and watch as your shared dreams begin to manifest. Remember, the key to success lies in your commitment and openness to growth. Start today and witness the positive changes unfold in your life.
Explore the Possibilities
Ready to dive deeper into the world of manifestation and the Gottman Method? Schedule a session and learn how this powerful tool  can enhance your relationship and personal growth. Our sessions are designed to provide you with the skills and insights needed to create a meaningful and beautiful marriage.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Feb 8, 2024 | couples, couples counseling, holiday, love, marriage
Valentine’s Day is often celebrated with grand gestures, romantic dinners, and extravagant gifts. However, amidst the flurry of roses and chocolates, it’s essential to remember that the true essence of this day lies in fostering love and connection, not just with a partner, but with ourselves and those around us. In this blog post, we’ll explore how mindfulness practices can enrich our Valentine’s Day experience, helping us cultivate deeper connections and spread love in meaningful ways.
Grounding in the Present Moment
Valentine’s Day can sometimes evoke feelings of longing or nostalgia, especially for those who are single or have experienced loss. Mindfulness teaches us to anchor ourselves in the present moment, appreciating the beauty and love that surrounds us right now. Take a few moments to pause, breathe deeply, and observe the sights, sounds, and sensations around you. Whether it’s the warmth of sunlight on your skin or the laughter of friends, grounding yourself in the present can foster a sense of gratitude and connection.
Loving-Kindness Meditation
A powerful mindfulness practice for cultivating love and connection is loving-kindness meditation, also known as Metta meditation. Begin by directing kind and loving thoughts towards yourself, then gradually extend these wishes to loved ones, acquaintances, and even those with whom you may have difficulties. On Valentine’s Day, set aside time for a loving-kindness meditation practice, allowing yourself to connect with the inherent goodness and humanity within yourself and others.
Meaningful Gestures of Appreciation
While extravagant gifts can be delightful, the most meaningful expressions of love often come from simple, heartfelt gestures. Practice mindfulness by infusing your actions with intention and presence. Write a heartfelt note expressing your gratitude and appreciation for someone special in your life. Prepare a meal with mindfulness, savoring each ingredient and infusing it with love. Small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness can deepen connections and foster a sense of shared joy and appreciation.
Deep Listening and Empathy
Mindful listening is a powerful tool for cultivating love and connection in relationships. Instead of rushing through conversations or formulating responses in your mind, practice deep listening—fully present and attentive to the words and emotions of your loved ones. Validate their feelings, offer empathy, and create a safe space for open communication. By listening mindfully, you strengthen your connections and deepen your understanding of one another.
Cultivating Self-Compassion
Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate all forms of love, including the love we have for ourselves. Unfortunately, self-criticism and doubt can often overshadow self-love. Practice mindfulness by cultivating self-compassion—acknowledging your own humanity, flaws, and imperfections with kindness and understanding. Treat yourself with the same warmth and compassion you would offer to a dear friend, recognizing that you are worthy of love and belonging just as you are.
By incorporating mindfulness practices into our celebrations, we can deepen our connections, foster compassion, and spread love in meaningful ways. Whether you’re spending the day with a partner, friends, or alone, may you embrace the present moment with open-heartedness and gratitude, cultivating love and connection in every interaction.
If you and your partner are needing some extra support, I am currently accepting new clients both online and in-person. You may call me at the number below or book directly on my website!
www.new.truemecounseling.com 818.851.1293
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Jun 20, 2023 | Blog, couples, couples counseling, love, marriage
Human connection and bonding lie at the core of our emotional well-being and happiness. While love and attachment may seem like abstract concepts, there is a fascinating hormone at work behind the scenes—oxytocin. Often referred to as the “cuddle hormone” or the “moral molecule,” oxytocin plays a pivotal role in promoting connection, trust, and bonding among individuals. In this blog post, we will delve into the science behind oxytocin and explore its profound effects on human relationships.
The Science of Oxytocin
Oxytocin is a neuropeptide produced in the brain’s hypothalamus and released by the pituitary gland. Initially recognized for its role in childbirth and mother-child bonding, scientists have since discovered its involvement in a wide range of social behaviors and emotional experiences. Oxytocin acts as a signaling molecule, facilitating communication between the brain and various bodily systems.
The Power of Connection
Oxytocin has been found to play a crucial role in fostering social bonds and relationships. When released, it promotes feelings of trust, empathy, and connection, leading to enhanced social interactions. Studies have shown that oxytocin can increase monogamous tendencies in mammalian species, highlighting its impact on long-term bonding.
The Impact of Oxytocin on Romantic Relationships
In romantic partnerships, oxytocin levels surge during intimate moments, such as hugging, cuddling, or sexual activity. This hormone intensifies feelings of love and attachment between partners. Oxytocin’s release during physical touch promotes a sense of safety, closeness, and emotional well-being, contributing to the deepening of romantic bonds.
The Role of Oxytocin in Parent-Child Relationships
Oxytocin’s impact extends to the parent-child relationship. During childbirth and breastfeeding, oxytocin levels rise in both mother and child, fostering an emotional connection and promoting maternal-infant bonding. Oxytocin also influences parental behaviors, such as nurturing and caregiving, as it triggers feelings of protectiveness and fosters the parent-child bond.
Oxytocin and Social Trust
Oxytocin has been found to influence social trust and cooperation. Studies have shown that individuals with higher levels of oxytocin tend to exhibit greater trust in others, leading to more positive social interactions. This hormone promotes pro-social behaviors and reduces the fear and anxiety associated with social interactions, fostering a sense of belonging and community.
Boosting Oxytocin Naturally
While oxytocin is naturally released in response to certain experiences, there are several ways to boost its levels naturally: Engage in physical touch: Hugging, cuddling, and hand-holding with loved ones can trigger oxytocin release.
Practice acts of kindness: Acts of generosity and helping others have been shown to increase oxytocin levels.
Spend quality time with loved ones: Nurturing relationships through shared experiences and meaningful conversations can promote oxytocin release.
Oxytocin, the fascinating hormone at the heart of human connection and bonding, holds tremendous power in shaping our relationships and emotional well-being. From fostering trust and empathy to deepening romantic bonds and nurturing parent-child relationships, oxytocin plays a vital role in our social interactions. Understanding the science behind oxytocin can help us appreciate the significance of human connection and motivate us to nurture and cherish the relationships that bring us joy, fulfillment, and a sense of belonging. So, let us embrace the power of oxytocin and strive to cultivate meaningful connections in our lives for happier and more fulfilling relationships.
If you and your partner are looking for additional support in your relationship my associates and I are accepting new clients. Please feel free to call 818.851.1293 to learn more.
by Marina Edelman, LMFT | Mar 31, 2023 | couples counseling
Marriage is a beautiful and complex partnership that requires constant nurturing and care to maintain its strength and vitality. Just like any other aspect of life, relationships change and grow over time, and it’s essential to adapt to these changes to ensure the bond between you and your spouse remains strong. In this blog post, we’ll share some tips and tricks to help you and your partner navigate the journey to a stronger marriage.
Prioritize Communication
Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy and thriving marriage. Make it a habit to discuss your feelings, thoughts, and concerns openly and honestly with your partner. Remember to practice active listening, which means giving your partner your full attention and avoiding interruptions. Ask open-ended questions to encourage a deeper conversation and show that you genuinely care about their thoughts and feelings.
Make Time for Each Other
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to let the demands of work, family, and other commitments consume your time and energy. However, it’s essential to prioritize spending quality time with your spouse. Set aside regular “date nights” or other special moments to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company. This will not only help you maintain a strong emotional connection but also create lasting memories together.
Show Appreciation and Gratitude
Expressing gratitude and appreciation for your partner’s efforts and qualities can go a long way in strengthening your marriage. Take the time to acknowledge the little things they do, from taking care of household chores to making you laugh when you’re feeling down. A simple “thank you” or heartfelt compliment can have a significant impact on your partner’s happiness and sense of self-worth.
Cultivate Emotional IntelligenceÂ
Emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in maintaining a healthy relationship. It involves understanding and managing your own emotions, as well as empathizing with your partner’s feelings. Develop your emotional intelligence by practicing self-awareness, self-regulation, and empathy. This will enable you to respond to your partner’s needs more effectively and navigate conflicts with greater understanding and compassion.
Embrace Vulnerability
Being open and vulnerable with your spouse creates a deeper emotional connection and fosters trust in your relationship. Share your fears, dreams, and insecurities with your partner, and encourage them to do the same. By embracing vulnerability, you’ll create a safe space for both of you to grow and support each other through life’s challenges.
Keep the Romance Alive
As time passes, it’s easy for the initial excitement and passion of a relationship to wane. However, it’s important to keep the romance alive by regularly expressing love and affection. Surprise your spouse with small gestures, like leaving love notes, giving compliments, or planning special outings. These acts of love will help maintain the spark in your marriage and remind your partner how much they mean to you.
Practice Forgiveness and Let Go of Grudge
No marriage is without its ups and downs, and conflicts are an inevitable part of any relationship. Learning to forgive and let go of grudges is essential for the long-term health of your marriage. When conflicts arise, address them calmly and constructively, focusing on finding a solution rather than assigning blame. Remember that forgiveness is a choice and an ongoing process that requires patience and understanding.
Invest in Personal Growth
A strong marriage requires two individuals who are committed to their own personal growth and self-improvement. By investing in yourself, you’ll not only become a better partner but also inspire your spouse to grow alongside you. Engage in activities that promote self-reflection, personal development, and emotional well-being, such as reading, journaling, therapy, or pursuing hobbies and interests. As you grow individually, you’ll also strengthen your relationship.
Establish Shared Goals and Values
A strong and lasting marriage is built on shared goals and values. Take time to discuss your individual aspirations and determine the common ground that aligns with both of your life visions. By working together toward shared objectives, you’ll foster a sense of partnership and unity that will reinforce your marriage.
Seek Professional Help When Needed
There is no shame in seeking professional help to address challenges in your relationship. Couples therapy or marriage counseling can provide valuable insights and guidance to help you navigate difficulties and build a stronger foundation for your marriage. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength and commitment to your relationship.
Conclusion
In conclusion, we encourage you to take the first step toward a stronger marriage by putting these tips and tricks into practice today. Start a conversation with your spouse about your relationship goals and how you can work together to enhance your bond. And don’t forget to share this blog post with other couples you know who may benefit from these insights. Let’s work together to create happier, healthier, and more fulfilling marriages for everyone. So, take action now and embark on this rewarding journey together!
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If you and your partner are looking for additional support in your relationship my associates and I are accepting new clients. Please feel free to call 818.851.1293 to learn more.
